Chapter 4.11
On Ji Han Yu’s 12th birthday, his father brought a boy and girl home. He’d pulled their hands and walked to his side, telling him that they were his younger brother and sister, and that he should take care of them.
While Ji Han Yu was still dumbfounded, his mother suddenly overturned his huge birthday cake and cursed his father, resembling an uncultured shrew.
She said things like, Ji Ming Xuan, what kind of thing are you? Look at yourself, you’re a fat old man, nearly 50 years old, why is a 20-something year old little girl giving birth to your children? Do you think you’re her true love? Without my Cao family’s support, you’re f#cking nothing! Take these two bastards out of my sight!
His father’s face had bloated like a pig liver, Ji Han Yu thought he looked funny, so he laughed.
His father was angered, he pointed at him and ridiculed, “Bastard, what are you laughing at? Who do you think you are? Your mother called them bastards, but she’s also the Cao family’s bastard. Without the Ji family’s wealth, why would anyone pay attention to you? You guys eat from me, take from me, yet still fight against me, ungrateful bastards.”
At that time, he’d scoffed at these words, but they’d left a deep imprint in his heart. That’s why, when he heard Lin ChengZe say that he was just in love with his family background, he got so angry, then thought up that ridiculous plan.
He told Lin ChengZe that the Ji family went bankrupt, that he had nowhere to go. His expression was very depressed, but he was laughing heartily inside. The Ji family had really gone bankrupt, all those illegitimate children that coveted the family property were probably hiding in their beds, weeping. But for Ji Han Yu, it had no effect.
When his mother had married into the Ji family, his grandfather had given her a lot of cash, enough for them to spend for a lifetime. He’d asked his mother for two million, and with his uncle’s help, he’d built a factory, the profits were sizable.
He’d pretended to be penniless and rang Lin ChengZe’s door bell, hoping he would shelter him. Lin ChengZe agreed, but he started alienating him, fawning over his friends instead. Ji Han Yu looked on from the sidelines, sneering in his heart. He thought that Lin ChengZe had already fallen into his trap.
He’d planned to live there a few days then leave, but in that short three days, Fang You Ran’s selfless care touched him, so he decided to stay. He deliberately got closer to Fang You Ran, leading him into his arms, while introducing Lin ChengZe to his friends, hoping he’d fall into his showy and rotten trap.
Lin ChengZe was annoyed with his friends, even Ji Han Yu had noticed, but he’d still always be available for them. At that time, Ji Han Yu thought that Lin ChengZe really could endure anything for money. but the later event taught him the true reason behind Lin ChengZe’s endurance, it was all for him.
Ji Han Yu thought that Fang You Ran had given him the purest love, but he didn’t expect Lin ChengZe’s love to be even more pure, even more desperate. He was like a raging fire, he was willing to burn himself to ashes for his beloved. When he loved you, he would even willingly offer up his soul.
This was the type of love Ji Han Yu had always desired, but he’d inadvertently discarded it.
He slept with Fang You Ran, when he saw Lin ChengZe suddenly appear, ashen faced, he hadn’t felt the slightest remorse. Why wasn’t he remorseful? Whenever the scene replayed in his dreams, Ji Han Yu stood in front of himself countless times, over and over interrogating himself, cursing himself, even wanting to slap himself awake.
That night, the bright red banknotes were scattered over the ground, gaudy, ridiculing. Ji Han Yu stood in the empty room for a long time, then he knelt down and picked them up one by one, until the whole floor was clean. Holding the money was like holding a piece of branding iron, his palms were scalded, painful, but he couldn’t drop it.
He had to return it all, return it a hundred-fold, a thousand-fold, then get Lin ChengZe back.
It was only at that moment that he recalled all of the little details of being with Lin ChengZe, suddenly understanding why he loathed his friends, but still patiently socialized with them. He’d just hoped that they could lend him a hand when he was in need, everything he did was for his sake.
Ji Han Yu didn’t dare imagine all the tears and hardships he had invested behind his back, and even more, he didn’t dare imagine his thoughts when he’d realized that he’d left him in a sex party to be abused.
Fang You Ran helped him tidy up the money, then suddenly hugged him, crying bitterly, repeatedly shouting ‘I’m sorry’. Those tears that would’ve made him pamper him in the past, now only made him feel sick. Compared to Lin ChengZe’s desperate efforts, what did Fang You Ran give up? Why was he even moved by him? Just because he expressed his feelings more than Lin ChengZe?
Lin ChengZe was so proud, he always said that the person who fell in love first was the loser. At that time, Ji Han Yu didn’t understand why that was his favorite phrase, but now he knew, when he repeated that sentence to him over and over, he was telling him ‘I already lost’. But his pride didn’t allow him to admit it, so he told others that he just loved his money.
Such an awkward temper, yet so lovely. Ji Han Yu smiled, but then he started to cry. He pushed Fang You Ran away, and roared at him to leave, to forever get out of his and Lin ChengZe’s world.
“When I look at you, I feel sick, but I’m even sicker than you are!” He said with blood-red eyes.
Lin ChengZe disappeared, Ji Han Yu couldn’t find him anywhere, he resorted to squatting at the Cao family’s mansion’s door, waiting. In the past, he’d only felt admiration and gratefulness for Cao Mo Kun, but now, he was deeply resentful.
You knew he was my boyfriend, why did you snatch him?
Cao Mo Kun gave him a mocking smile, saying, buying your relationship for 300,000 was the most successful investment I’ve ever made.
Ji Han Yu had no way to fight back, after leaving, he’d glanced back at the house, telling himself that he must get stronger, more powerful than Cao Mo Kun, so he could recapture his former lover.
Still, Lin ChengZe ultimately disappeared, completely gone. Since then, Ji Han Yu suffered from insomnia, relying on more and more drugs to survive three painful months.
Three months later, a friend opened a video on his phone, asking him to watch. His behavior was very mysterious. Ji Han Yu indifferently glanced at it, then was stunned. Grabbing the phone, he greedily stared at the captivating boy on the screen. Of course, it was Lin ChengZe, the Lin ChengZe his heart yearned for, the Lin ChengZe who made him too deeply regretful to love again.
“This ad is blowing up online! Damn it, how didn’t I notice that Lin ChengZe was such a fox! You introduced him to Wang Jie but not me, what the hell man?! Oh right, wasn’t he your boyfriend? That kind of beauty, why did you willingly give him out? You’re too daring.…”
Ji Han Yu didn’t wait for him to finish before he ruthlessly stuck out with a fist, his eyes full of endless hatred.
Why did you willingly give him out? Why did you willingly give him out? He’d also questioned himself countless times in the past, why did you willingly give him out?! You’re so stupid!
He heard that buying a bottle of Extravagant came with Lin ChengZe’s promotional poster. Ji Han Yu skipped class and rushed to the nearest department store. The counter was crowded with people, everyone was clamoring for a bottle. He was crowded out, and when he finally managed to reach the front, the salesman told him they were out of stock.
He couldn’t describe the great feeling of panic he had at that time, it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, he’d never be able to touch Lin ChengZe again.
He walked out of the mall like a wandering spirit, standing on the steps in a daze. He looked up, a giant LED screen was broadcasting an interview with top international designer, Orlando. He called Lin ChengZe his Goddess of Beauty, Narcissus gazing at his reflection by the lakeside, Ganymede who poured wine for the gods. His appearance could make gods and kings fall, if you didn’t love him, it was simply a sin.
The last sentence broke Ji Han Yu’s heart. He did love him, he just realized too late.
A picture of Lin ChengZe showed up on the screen, many people stopped to look up, even a few cars slowed down. Their eyes exposed unconcealable surprise and longing.
Ji Han Yu didn’t dare look, he left in a trance. Eventually, he used some connections to buy a few bottles of Extravagant, and covered his room with Lin ChengZe’s posters, it was as if he’d never left. From that day on, he was gradually able to fall asleep, but his dreams were plentiful.
He desperately worked, hoping to overtake Cao Mo Kun as soon as possible. He became an upstart in the business world, various kinds of beauties pranced around him, but they could no longer arouse even a bit of his interest. If you once had the most precious treasure in the world, then you lost it, you would find that no other person or thing could ever enter your eye.
Lin ChengZe was the best, no one could replace him.
One day, after handling a very important business deal, Ji Han Yu returned home, exhausted. He sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the wall covered with Lin ChengZe’s photos. Suddenly, the news broadcast on the TV reported that Cao Mo Kun was in a car accident, his lower body was seriously injured, he might be paralyzed. Ji Han Yu froze for several minutes, then, an insuppressible joy rose into his heart.
Cao Mo Kun had fallen, maybe this meant he had another chance. What was Lin ChengZe feeling right now? Anxious, helpless? No, I must hurry to his side as quickly as possible.
Ji Han Yu immediately stood up and packed his things, he emptied out his wardrobe to find his most decent suit and changed into it. He dragged his suitcase to the airport, and bought the earliest flight to F country.
About twenty minutes from boarding time, Lin ChengZe’s captivating face appeared on the tv in the terminal. He looked very haggard, but his eyes were striking.
He came out in front of all of the media, saying with a resolute expression, “Cao Mo Kun is my lover, I love him, so I will never give up on him. I hope we can get everyone’s blessings.”
At that moment, Cao Mo Kun became the most hated man in the world. Ji Han Yu heard the teen girls who were sitting in the row over burst into grieving tears. A man angrily kicked a billboard, muttering that the interview was faked, it was an April Fool’s joke etc. In this world, many people madly adored Lin ChengZe, but he only loved one person.
Ji Han Yu laughed, laughed and laughed until tears unexpectedly flowed out. He wondered, why did he think that Lin ChengZe would need him at this time? Why did he think that he would accept him, just because Cao Mo Kun met with misfortune?
He was Lin ChengZe after all, the Lin ChengZe who, once he fell in love with someone, he was loyal until death! His beloved will be the happiest person in the world.
Refunding his ticket, Ji Han Yu returned to his house, muddleheaded, then fell into bed. He had a dream. In that dream, he was sitting in the dining room in the Lin house, helping Lin ChengZe pick out the green peppers in his food. Seeing him eating eagerly, he quickly poured him a glass of warm milk, then kissed his milk drenched red lips. Lin ChengZe’s arms wrapped around his neck, his peach blossom eyes glittering, he was so beautiful, so captivating … …
Ji Han Yu woke up with a sweet smile, then he looked around his cold and empty room, and was brought back to his hopeless reality. He’d spent two months hating Lin ChengZe, but now, he’ll spend the rest of his life loving him.
He always considered moving on, but he sunk deeper and deeper every day. Lin ChengZe had already left him behind, but he was still trapped in his dulling memories, never able to move on.
Lin ChengZe’s love was like a raging fire, his fire had burned Ji Han Yu’s soul to ashes, leaving only an empty shell.
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T/N:
Lin ChengZe- the book version had a typo, putting Ji Han Yu’s name instead of Lin ChengZe. Why does the officially published version have more errors than the online one? It also removed Simon’s name, weird. Maybe it’s just the version I’m using.
And so ends another chapter of FOD.
Next Chapter- ZYS drives a man to use drugs
I feel bad for the bestfriend! I think JHY deserve everything that happened to him. The bestfriend, tho he didnt do big thimgs to help JHY, i think he still did his best taking care of him and give him(JHY) what he can.
Just because a person did much bigger things to show their love, it doesnt mean u should forget what the other did.
I think JHY only love the feeling of being loved, the actions, but not the actual person.
This aint love Mr.
Exactly, that friend was not innocent but thats harsh…if only JHY still accept him, then his life wont be that tragic (i think he’s truly guilty and sorry)..the confrontation moment was all the punishment he need, imo, but then that scum JHY proceeds to abandon him. Thats why i’m so glad JHY is forever suffering
While I feel sorry for both, ultimately JHY and FYR brought this upon themselves.
JHY was obsessed with destroying ChengZi. He could have broken up with him at any time but he chose to lead him into damnation just for petty revenge.
FYR didn’t have to flirt or sleep with his friend’s bf. It even seemed like he was using JHY as a stepping stone too. All that he “invested” in JHY wasn’t enough., all in vain, etc. Do FYR knew what he was doing, he saw how cruel JHY was to ChengZi every day, and continued with his behavior anyway to secure his own bag.
Good riddance to both these characters!!
Lmfao that ain’t love dear
Seriously that’s just called “regrets” I don’t get why most stories have this kind of plot, like JHY regretting letting mc go and just called that feelings ‘love’ funny how he said he love the best friend but when he know mc good-doing he just “ah so I love him not the other” pft then leave the bsf and yearn for the mc Bruh
Yoo….1 chapter wasted on this scumbag. ??
His appearance could make gods and kings fall, if you didn’t love him, it was simply a sin.
The last sentence broke Ji Han Yu’s heart. He did love him, he just realized too late.
“That’s not love, that’s just wishing
Wish and love are not the same thing” Sarah Slean, Get Home
Please! I’ve never considered myself as someone that will cheat on my lover. But, someone that would be cheated. That’s who i am. Weak person.
But, please, never be like the MC if this kind of situation happen to you. Idk, maybe after 1, 2 or 3 years pass. If you that person that are regretting so much. Try tell him ‘past is past’. Move on!
Cause i know you yourself would feel regret when that ex of yours died of depression!
Well, if I ever got a lover, I’m pretty sure that lover of mine won’t try to ruin my life on top of cheating on me. The guy implicated him in a drug and s*x scandal as well (will require bail money probably) as cheating with his friend/ housemate, getting him kicked out of university (his parents are dead & only left him some money) forcing him to sell his body (someone with history of such scandals and doesn’t graduate can hardly find a decent job even for a while) finally dying a miserable death. Because of such a reason? Making his life full of nightmare is already a mercy, he still has money and is a start-up. He only needed to give up his feelings for him, but he doesn’t. Why? Because of guilt. Because he knew and understood that he was in the wrong. And if you said, that’s only because he can’t kill them. Remember the previous worlds? The main leads died there. Killing can be done with a borrowed hand. (And he suffers longer, lol, it’s really satisfying)
By the way translator-san, in the sentence “He dragged his suitcase to the airport, and bought the soonest flight to F country.” It might be better to use “earliest flight” instead of soonest.
‘Kay
Oh yes I love this and I was kinda guilty because I found it funny too
↪His father’s face had bloated like a pig liver, Ji Han Yu thought he looked funny, so he laughed.
I feel bad for the protag gong and shou. For shou, because even though his actions weren’t selfless as the one with ZYS he still worked many part-times just to accumulate 300,000. For ordinary or average people like protag shou it is very hard to earn 300,000. And for the gong, it’s because of his trauma. My parents also said things to me that was left deep in my heart. Although their words are for my good, but when bad influence came, these words has some bad effects on me. So yeah, I learned that how important our words and actions are.
The shou didnt gather 300k for Ji Han Yu. He had gathered 20k and both LCZ and JHY said that the amount wasn’t enough. But JHY felt moved by the shou’s dedication. As for the trauma, I understand how traumas can make us angry/panicky/easily hurt. But you can never justify putting others into a horrible situation like a drug-induced gang rape like JHY did. The original Lin Cheng Ze was horrible and scummy, but even the original had allowed Ji Han Yu to stay for free at his own home when JHY said he was bankrupt and had nowhere to go. So he was a bad boyfriend, but not completely a bad person. Even though I felt a little bad for JHY after reading about his childhood, I immediately got pissed when I remembered what he did to the original LCZ. And Fan You Ran was scum in his own way. Like Zhou Yun Sheng said, he could’ve told his bf to not post LCZ’s incriminating photos in the campus. Or could’ve helped LCZ out in that situation. What kind of friend stays with a boyfriend that does something so horrible to another person?
And our MC and ML aren’t goody-two-shoes either. Overall, everyone in this arc was scummy to some extent.
Why is this one of the arcs i love the most~? I already lost the count of how many times I’ve read it, like really, more than all my fingers, but everytime this face slapping is good xD! This is also the arc where ZYS realized his lover’s following him soo <3
am i supposed to feel sorry for the protagonist because I DONT
I feel more like this former protagonist is just merely in love with the concept of love instead of the people themselves he has been with. Like the one scene of the childhood trauma and reasoning for punishing original host to that degree is simply because of his broken family relationship.
And more than just being in love, I also feel like he’s greedy for someone’s affection and attention.
I felt bad for Han yu. Why didn’t he ever realized that his heart and Cengze were never connected from the beginning? If he realized this thing, he would’ve been able to let go and move on. At least with You ran his heart was connected before. But never with Ceng ze.
Man human conscience I feel a bit bad for him. But as others mentioned he got the mc’s life ruined un the og plot all bc he was butt hurt about him wanting the money. Lmao wake up kid if you got money people will want it.
Yes, that’s why you should cherish those people who ‘loces’ you *cough*
damnit, he’s crazy rn
It’s too bad Lin ChengZe never really loved Ji Han Yu, even when ZYS transmigrated over. JHY is just in love with an image of Lin ChengZe.
JHY was still too hasty in judging Lin ChengZe and made really big mistakes, but I feel bad for him. He’s being deceived and now his entire life has been ruined…
Yea but at least he got to keep his life, in the last life chengze died, yea sure he was a gold digger but his every thing was gone and in the end he died.
I kinda feel bad for JHY, but whenever I remember what he did to LCZ in their last life, I feel like he deserved it. Yes, LCZ is a green tea bitch that seduces anyone who got money even his friends, but deceiving him to attend an orgy that destroyed his future is too much. He should’ve just broke up with him. In addition, we all know that JHY also cheated and got together with his bestfriend so they can just call it quits lol.
Ji Han Yu is such a joke and a selfish man too.Not defending You Ran but he also treated JHY nicely and loved him honestly.Then wen he found out abt LCZ sacrifices he changed heart AGAIN!Truly shameless.
This. He really was scum.
Ma tears just keep on pouring huhuu ghadd thanks for the hardwork ?????
Duh! even so author~sama, trust is difficult to mend but, if pressured, easy to break ?
an unknown meatbun cant even persuade me ?
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thanks for the hard work translator~sama ?
Trust is worth more than platinum.