Keztranslations

Chapter 30

Tong Yan was covering his face with the quilt, a few moments later, when it became too hot, he pulled it off again.

    The lights were turned off. Zhuo Xiang Ming held Tong Yan’s cell phone in his hand, swiping down and up, there were only a few search records, but he was still reading. The screen illuminated Zhuo Xiang Ming’s face, his expression was clearly seen, but Tong Yan still couldn’t understand what it meant.

    “Are you angry?” The smell of cedarwood wasn’t as mild as usual, so Tong Yan asked.

    “What?” Zhuo Xiang Ming moved the hand holding the cell phone to his lap. “No, why would I be angry?”

    Tong Yan: “Then, what are you thinking?”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming pondered for a moment, then said: “I was thinking … we can’t sleep together yet.”

    Tong Yan seemed to have already guessed that he would refuse: “Okay.”

    Before shutting off the encyclopedia search, Zhuo Xiang Ming swiped left on the response in Tong Yan’s bookmarks. The word “Delete” appeared, but in the end, he didn’t delete it, just tucking the phone under another pillow on Tong Yan’s bed.

    With this, the last light source in the room disappeared. The only thing Tong Yan could see clearly, was Zhuo Xiang Ming’s silhouette and a slightly vague face.

    “I…”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming: “What?”

    Tong Yan: “I forgot whether I saw it in a TV show or a comic, but there seems to be a saying, if someone asks a rhetorical question after a denial, uhh … it most likely represents affirmation.”

    In fact, Tong Yan also didn’t know why he was bringing up this weird trivia at this time. He spoke slowly, and his voice was also relatively low. It wouldn’t appear obtrusive in this quiet and dim room, on the contrary, it was somewhere between coquettish and aggrieved.

    Zhuo Xiang Ming couldn’t be certain, but he felt like he was always making Tong Yan feel aggrieved, then he wanted to treat him better. He didn’t know how to be better, but he just felt that he wasn’t good enough.

    “I’m not angry.” Zhuo Xiang Ming also spoke softly. In a rare case of him being unable to find suitable wording, his words were intermittent, and awkward, but fortunately, it sounded very sincere, “I’m just … I’m wondering, if I gave you too many … sexual suggestions.”

    Tong Yan seemed a bit nervous, and overwhelmed with embarrassment. He gently moved the quilt a few times, his chin poking at the trim. He said softly, “Eh?”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming recalled the soft and reassuring feeling he had when he picked up his cell phone that afternoon, and heard Tong Yan waking up from his nap and turning over in bed. He pushed a hand under the quilt and groped around, finding Tong Yan’s hand.

    Tong Yan’s fingers felt very thin, but his hand still felt very soft to the touch. It wasn’t big enough to grasp a basketball one-handedly, so it was more delicate than the average boy’s.

    “I don’t want you to feel that … dating equals having sex.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming was wondering how best to explain it, in order to prevent Tong Yan from feeling ashamed or embarrassed. He wanted to express his thoughts accurately, but it always seemed to come out different, “This type of thing, if and when to do it, rationally speaking, there are no hard and fast rules. Open-mindedly speaking, if both parties are willing, then it’s natural to fulfill that desire.”

    “But you’re really too young.” He gently stroked the back of Tong Yan’s hand with his thumb, “It seems that I’m actually quite old-fashion. If I do that sort of thing with you right away … Tong Tong, I’ll feel guilty.”

    After thinking for a while, Tong Yan asked, “You still think of me as a child?”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Of course not.”

    Tong Yan: “Then, why would you feel guilty? If we like each other, even if we give … sexual suggestions, is there something wrong with that?”

    The more Zhuo Xiang Ming spoke, the more he felt hypocritical and pompous: “Because, you didn’t have these kinds of thoughts before. I’m wondering if it’s because I recently… I recently haven’t been very restrained. Maybe I conveyed this kind of idea to you. So, I wanted to say, uhh … Tong Tong, sex is not necessary to maintain a relationship, or advance it…”

    “Why not?” Tong Yan interrupted him, “I really want to kiss you. I also thought about doing it before you kissed me… I’m eighteen, not eight.”

    “Do you think, you’ll have to take responsible for me if we go to bed?” Tong Yan suddenly asked.

    He hadn’t wanted to ask this out loud, but since it slipped out, Tong Yan didn’t regret it.

    This was a very reasonable assumption. Zhuo Xiang Ming’s celibacy wasn’t a bluff. Tong Yan liked him, and he could also feel that he was liked by Zhuo Xiang Ming, but how much ‘like’ was there? Was it enough to mark? Was it enough to want to spend the rest of their lives together?

    The two had only been together for a week. An adult’s commitment was always precious and not easily given away. This question wasn’t fair to anyone.

    But teenagers were the creatures most insulated from rationality. He loved fervently, so of course, he had the right to obtain answers from his partner.

    A celibate person discussing love might feel that way, but Zhuo Xiang Ming’s character was beyond doubt. It also wasn’t about AO equal rights, it was just two people with a difference in age and social experience. Once a substantial physical relationship began, it would look like Tong Yan was “at a disadvantage”.

    So, was he worried about this?

    Zhuo Xiang Ming subconsciously said: “Of course I’ll take responsibility for you.”

    “No, no.” Zhuo Xiang Ming corrected, “I didn’t mean that. I meant, since we’re in love and have started a relationship, then both of us will have responsibilities and obligations to each other, right?”

    “Yes. Then why can’t we go to bed?” Tong Yan circled back to the original point.

    Zhuo Xiang Ming: “You’re too young.”

    Tong Yan wanted to ask: So, you still think of me as a child?

    But he didn’t ask this, because there was no answer to this question. For the first time, Zhuo Xiang Ming’s reasoning failed to convince him, and for the first time, Tong Yan realized that not all questions had answers.

    When he fell in love, he learned that when someone got caught up in their emotions, they would always panic. Perhaps one second they would be full of affection, but the next second, they would feel anxious and insecure. This feeling was unpleasant but, Tong Yan thought, this was probably the taste of love.

    Tong Yan: “Okay, I was just asking. It’s late, you should go to bed too.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming squeezed his palm: “Good night.”

    Tong Yan: “Good night.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming got up and tucked Tong Yan in before leaving.

    The temporary stay made Zhuo Xiang Ming’s pheromones linger in Tong Yan’s bedroom. He was tired, and fell asleep quickly.

    Th next day, Sunday, Zhuo Xiang Ming hadn’t made arrangements to go to work. He woke Tong Yan up around eight o’clock, and the two ate breakfast together.

    The results of the mid-term exams were coming out that morning. Tong Yan was a little nervous, and he was slightly absent-minded. His new Star Wars set couldn’t be challenged, so he sat on the rug next to the sofa, taking on a set with relatively low difficulty.

    Xuan Gui stood aside, hanging around. It had been constantly telling Tong Yan that if it pieced it together, the set would be completed in a few minutes. But this robot really couldn’t receive any sincere human friendship, because Tong Yan firmly rejected it: “Don’t even think about it. Zhuo Xiang Ming bought this, I want to finish it myself.”

    Xuan Gui: “Does this count as a reason? I can only play with the ones you bought?”

    Tong Yan: “Why not? Last time, didn’t I let you touch the Maserati I built?”

    Xuan Gui was heartbroken: “I feel like you’re not in a good mood.”

    “Nonsense.” Tong Yan said, “I’ve always been this ruthless.”

    Xuan Gui ran away.

    The roses in the backyard had already started blossoming. Zhuo Xiang Ming was very diligent, circling around and pruning. After entering the house, he changed his shoes and washed his hands. Deciding to mow the lawn in the afternoon, he looked for Tong Yan.

    “Have the results come out?”

    Tong Yan: “No, I’ve been refreshing the webpage forever.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming sat down beside him: “Don’t be nervous.”

    Tong Yan: “I’m not nervous.”

    “OK.” Zhuo Said Ming said.

    Since breakfast, the atmosphere between the two had been a little stiff. No one was giving the cold-shoulder, and no one had an angry face, but it just wasn’t very natural.

    Tong Yan tried to find something to say, but the more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t find anything to say.

    “What are you building?” Zhuo Xiang Ming asked.

    Tong Yan hurriedly said: “The Taj Mahal.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming leaned over, picking up the small box behind Tong Yan. He looked at the finished picture on the back: “Wow.”

    “Pretty?” Tong Yan also leaned over to look, “I plan to build the four … uhh, towers I guess, first, then I’ll start the foundation. The Star Wars set will have to wait for a holiday.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming had no opinion on what he planned to do in his free time: “OK.”

    “The Taj Mahal is an ancient human’s tomb, did you know?” Tong Yan asked.

    Zhuo Xiang Ming: “I know.”

    Tong Yan continued, “Then, do you know whose tomb it is?”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming actually knew, but in the end, he said, “I don’t know.”

    “The emperor of India built it for his wife.” Unlike yesterday, when Tong Yan ignored Zhuo Xiang Ming while he built, he hands curled naturally, his palms placed on his thighs as he patiently explained to Zhuo Xiang Ming, “Her name was Mumtaz Mahal.”

    “The emperor exhausted the nation’s manpower to build the mausoleum. Some people praised his love, and others criticized his muddle-headedness.” Tong Yan touched the half-completed tower, “But the building is really beautiful.”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming nodded in agreement: “It is really beautiful.”

    Tong Yan also wanted to dive deeper into this famous love story that had been handed down for thousands of years, but he suddenly remembered, Mumtaz Mahal was Shah Jahan’s second wife… not the first.

    In the simplified story he’d heard, the emperor married his first wife before he found his true love. At that time, Tong Yan thought, marking and mark-removal wasn’t such a big deal nowadays, and most people were unlikely to only ever have one partner. Then, what about Zhuo Xiang Ming and himself?

    Zhuo Xiang Ming was a thoughtful adult, he naturally thought about many things. Then, was he thinking, if they could be together, it’s possible to also separate, so, he was somewhat opposed to premature intimacy? If that was the case, Tong Yan felt that he should thank him.

    Tong Yan liked him, but this shouldn’t hinder Tong Yan. Maybe it was simply the beginning of his attempt to accept the start of the relationship. Because of his grief over his second wife, Shah Jahan’s hair turned white overnight. Could Zhuo Xiang Ming be willing to give his soul mark to just any omega he met?

    Tong Yan strived to make himself less childish. He couldn’t hypothesize their break up, then go blame Zhuo Xiang Ming. In fact, breaking up was everybody’s right. He couldn’t set Zhuo Xiang Ming as his end point prematurely … … That wasn’t fair to Zhuo Xiang Ming.

    Zhuo Xiang Ming noticed that Tong Yan was suddenly absent-minded and asked: “Tong Tong?”

    Tong Yan pursed his lips, then turned to look at him: “Are you still angry?”

    Then he remembered yesterday, when Zhuo Xiang Ming said that he wasn’t angry, and changed his words: “Are you giving me the cold-shoulder?”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Of course not!”

    Tong Yan: “Then why, why are you saying so little to me?”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming smiled helplessly: “Because I really don’t understand these things. You’ve never told me so much about Lego before.”

    Tong Yan also realized that it really was himself that had been explaining something to Zhuo Xiang Ming. Embarrassed, he smiled and said, “I’m done talking to you.”

    “No, talk.” Zhuo Xiang Ming finally reached out to hug him, he legs wrapping around Tong Yan, his chest against Tong Yan’s back, “Please Tong Tong, save my esthetics.”

    After receiving a hug, those chaotic thoughts quickly disappeared. Tong Yan turned towards him, rubbing their faces together, a proud little expression on his face: “Then kiss me, why aren’t you a kissing maniac today?”

    “Huh?” Zhuo Xiang Ming narrowed his eyes at him dangerously, “What did you call me?”

    “Kissing mani…” Before Tong Yan could finish the word, Zhuo Xiang Ming kissed him. The feeling of touching lips was completely different from a forehead kiss. You could become desensitized to a forehead kiss, but a mouth-to-mouth kiss would forever be jolting.

    It would always have the magical power to cause blushing and throbbing heartbeats, this was something Tong Yan realized from his first kiss. Because his reason was very quickly taken away by Zhuo Xiang Ming’s kiss, the tower was cast aside, and he fully turned around, looping his arms around Zhuo Xiang Ming’s neck, grabbing Zhuo Xiang Ming’s hair in one hand, and gripping his shirt with the other. Kneeling in Zhuo Xiang Ming’s embrace, he just wanted to completely focus on kissing.

    After a prolonged kiss, Tong Yan found a sense of certainty in Zhuo Xiang Ming’s painfully tight hug. He thought, maybe his request was really somewhat sudden. Zhuo Xiang Ming truly liked him, but Zhuo Xiang Ming needed some more time.

    He leaned on Zhuo Xiang Ming’s shoulder, still adjusting his breathing. At this time, the web page successfully refreshed, and his school report appeared. Zhuo Xiang Ming picked up his cell phone and the two looked at it together. Tong Yan skipped the individual scores and rankings, looking directly at the total score: 667.

    “Six hundred and sixty-seven!” He straightened up and cupped Zhuo Xiang Ming’s face, rubbing it a few times, “My gift!”

    Zhuo Xiang Ming also smiled, he looked carefully at the scores and said: “That’s first place, awesome.”

    “My gift.” Tong Yan repeated.

    Zhuo Xiang Ming let him knead his face good-naturedly, his mouth squeezed into a pout. He just held Tong Yan’s waist and asked: “Okay, gift, when, do you want?”

    Tong Yan: “Now!”

    But Zhuo Xiang Ming said: “Uh…”

    “What happened?” Tong Yan kneaded his face.

    Zhuo Xiang Ming: “You called me a kissing maniac.”

    “Eh …” Tong Yan grunted shamelessly, “That’s a pet name!”

    “Okay, then let me give you a pet name too. I’ll call you, Shameless King.” Zhuo Xiang Ming said, “Shameless King, Kissing Maniac, why does mine still sound sexier?”

    All during the lonely morning, Tong Yan had wanted to act spoiled with him. Hugging him and not letting go, he shook the unresistant Zhuo Xiang Ming: “Don’t….”

    Finally, Zhuo Xiang Ming couldn’t endure it, giving him his gift. But if Tong Yan had to give it a score, this gift might not pass. Because, he was brought from Zhuo Xiang Ming’s arms to the rug by this kiss, his tongue was sucked numb, and his mouth was swollen to the point where he couldn’t appear in public. The gift absolutely couldn’t satisfy his requirements of “gentle” and “slow”.

================================================================

T/N:

might feel that way- 独身主义谈谈恋爱可以, the sentence ends with the word ‘can/be able/possible’, so I guessed that that’s what the author was implying.

but this shouldn’t hinder Tong Yan. Maybe it was ….- This sentence didn’t have punctuation originally, but it literally made no sense without it.

overnight- It actually took one year for the emperor’s hair to turn white, but I think “white hair overnight” is just a turn of phrase, not literal.

I prep the chapters for translation in bulks of 15, so I’ll be taking a few days off to prep chapters 31-45. In the meantime, fantasize about getting a man like ZXM who drops thousands of dollars on toys for you. I looked it up, that Taj Mahal Lego set is almost $400!