DFC: Chapter 16

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Chapter 16

Fortunately, the little dragon cub finally completed the life changing event of molting before entering school.

“Come on, stand straight.” Bai Huo looked at the bald head in front of him solemnly. Without the fluff to protect him, the little dragon cub was slippery smooth, like a plucked Christmas turkey. Bai Huo was about to suffer internal injuries from holding back, in the end, he couldn’t help but burst into uproarious laughter: “Sorry, I don’t want to laugh at you … it’s just … bahaha ha ha ha …”

The little dragon cub blushed furiously; he was so angry that he was contemplating breaking off the father-son relationship.

Bai Huo quickly took out some dried fish to coax him: “Okay, okay, don’t be mad, this is good actually, now you definitely won’t show your true shape to your classmates.”

After all, this look was so unsightly, Li Lin Xi wouldn’t want to lose face in front of his classmates.

The scheduled interview was for 10 o’clock this morning, so Bai Huo got up early in the morning and entered the rarely used kitchen. After cooking noodles of dubious quality, he brought two bowls out to the little guys sitting vigilantly at the table.

“What is this?” The fat bird stirred the black soup for a while, wondering what poison Bai Huo had put inside.

“Fish noodles,” Bai Huo said proudly, “No bad, right?”

The little dragon cub and the fat bird looked at the noodles that were as black as black sesame paste, dumbfounded: “It looks … not quite right…”

“Okay, hurry up and eat, you’ll be late for school.” Bai Huo walked away to pack the little dragon’s schoolbag. He’d intentionally worn formal clothes today, an excellently crafted shirt fit snuggly to his waistline, and black trousers wrapped his long legs, making him look even slimmer. These clothes, plus the thin-rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, made him radiate an atmosphere of elegance, which was completely deceiving.

Bai Huo had never packed a child’s schoolbag before. He couldn’t think of anything the child needed to bring, so he carelessly stuffed in two change of clothes, and filled the rest of the bag with dried fish, considering the matter done.

When he left the bedroom, he found that the fat bird and the little dragon cub were still staring blankly at their noodles. He pushed his glasses up with an index finger and asked: “Why aren’t you eating? Can’t bear to ruin it?”

The fat bird was speechless, wondering what kind of monstrous optimism this guy had to think that they were reluctant to disturb these carcinogenic noodles?

“Let me tell you a story,” Bai Huo completely lacked awareness, smiling as he sat down at the table. “When I was traveling the world in my youth, I once passed by a farm house and saw an old lady cooking some noodles inside. She was preparing it for her grandson who was leaving for college. When she handed him the noodles, she said, ‘It’s a joyous occasion when someone gives you a bowl of noodles before you go away. After eating these noodles, you must keep in mind that someone at home is thinking about you, and you must return safe and sound.’”

“Wait a minute, isn’t he just going to kindergarten?” The fat bird was stunned.

“Slurp~”, the little dragon cub suddenly buried his head in the bowl, when he lifted his head, the empty bowl clattered and spun around.

Bai Huo felt contented, he patted the little dragon cub’s head: “Good boy, you understand your father’s good intentions.”

After that, the two simultaneously turned to look at the fat bird.

The fat bird took two steps back: Nuh-uh, no way.

It was inconvenient to wear a scarf in the spring. Bai Huo wanted to put the fat bird into his briefcase, but the latter was afraid that he would be crushed by Bai Huo, who has never used a briefcase before, and opted to fly by himself.

“Fine, take your time.” The father and son waved goodbye.

The interview was to take place in the director’s office. Who know what Ji Bei told the reception staff, but when the two young women saw the little dragon cub, they distressedly gathered around and hugged him: “Poor thing, come here, I’ll take you to see the headmaster.”

The little dragon cub was stupefied by this enthusiastic hug, it took him a long time to snap out of it, then he kept writhing in the young ladies’ embrace. Bai Huo saw his flushed face and reached out, pulling him over with a chuckle: “Thank you, he’s heavy so let me hold him.”

Back in Daddy’s arms, the little dragon cub tightly wrapped Bai Huo’s neck, blinking quickly in distress, with an atmosphere like he was never going to let go again.

“The headmaster is a good person. Although she looks strict, she’s very good with children, and she’s very soft-hearted.” The young woman enthusiastically introduced the headmaster to Bai Huo while leading the way.

“Our kindergarten has high fees; ordinary families can’t afford it, only wealthy people can send their children here. In order to guarantee the quality of potential students, in addition to the headmaster, two other directors will join in the interview. Little Lin Xi will do great, just try to answer anything they ask, but it’s also fine if he can’t. Your child is still small, he can learn everything later.”

“Mhmm …” Bai Huo listened absentmindedly. Walking passed a small room, his attention was suddenly grabbed.

It was 10 am, the kindergarten was preparing fruits and snacks to be distributed to the children. The children sat on their small stools, waiting for the teachers to give them their share.

“During snack time …” Bai Huo asked, “Do you serve fish?”

“Fish?” The two young women looked like they’d heard something ridiculous, smiling. “Sir, are you joking, how can fish be in the snacks ah? It’s dangerous for children to eat fish, what if there’s a stray bone? Oh, we’re here— “

Little Lin Xi, his head lying on Bai Huo’s shoulders, heard that there was no fish and his head tilted slightly.

Bai Huo seemed to feel two small horns.

No fish, he was very unhappy.

Bai Huo patted his shoulder to pacify him, then he put the child down and walked him into the room.

The director’s office wasn’t very large. Two men and one woman sat side by side, a small table in front of them. This arrangement was quite grand, it looked like an interview for a job as a government official.

“Headmaster, the guests are here.” The young women led them in.

“Li Lin Xi and his father, right?” The headmaster was an older woman, with gray hair and chained eyeglasses perched on her nose. She looked at Bai Huo, her expression solemn. “Hello, I’ve heard of your general circumstances, shall we start now? “

She was worthy of being a leader for so many years, she knew how to get straight to the point, simply entering the topic as soon as he approached.

Bai Huo nodded and tried to smile sophisticatedly: “Greetings everyone, my name is Bai Huo, this is my son, Li Lin Xi.”

The other two directors had already read the basic information, they asked routinely, “Can your child speak?”

“Lin Xi,” Bai Huo bent over, placing his hand on the child’s shoulder. “Say hello to the teachers.”

The little dragon cub coldly glanced at the humans that were several times taller than him: “I’m Li Lin Xi.”

The three adults choked a bit.

Bai Huo was quite amazed. Since he’d named this child, this was the first time he’d heard him pronounce his own name. It was different than being called by others, it carried a special feeling of recognition.

The headmaster pushed up her glasses and asked, “Is the household monolingual or bilingual?”

“Household?” Bai Huo thought for a bit, the fat bird was always chirping all day, and bird language was also a language, so he answered unhesitatingly, “Bilingual!”

The headmaster lowered her head and ticked a checkbox on her sheet.

“Hmm, does your child have any special habits? For example, wetting the bed, sucking his fingers, etc.”

The little dragon cub gave the questioner a scathing glance.

“Oh, there is!” Bai Huo said without thinking, “He likes to jump into the lak…”

The little dragon cub immediately turned to look at him.

“Jump to the…Hulu Babies, you know, dancing,” Bai Huo forcibly spun his tongue. “As soon as the cartoon comes on, my son really likes to watch it and jump around, he gets very excited.”

“Is that so?” The two directors’ eyes lit up. “That means that he has a talent for dancing. You should consider signing him up for special classes. Can he demonstrate right now? I happen to have some songs on my phone.”

The little dragon cub: “…”

Hey guys, how can you tell if your father is crazy? Please respond, it’s urgent.

Bai Huo looked at the little dragon cub affectionately, there wasn’t a hint of apology in his eyes, on the contrary, there was a look of anticipation.

Hey OP, a father’s love is like a mountain.

The music sounded, and the little dragon cub felt extremely unenthusiastic, but he had no choice but to help Bai Huo complete this lie. With a gloomy expression, he jumped randomly along with the music, waving his hands.

Although there was no rhythm, the child was innocent and cute, skipping around brought out ample adorableness.

“Not bad, not bad, that’s a bonus point.” The two directors bowed their heads and ticked.

“Apart from dancing, is there anything else, for example mathematics, reciting Classical texts, etc.” The headmaster asked.

Bai Huo thought to himself, modern human children really had it rough, they had to learn so many things by the age of three. When he was three, he was still rolling around in the hot spring valley’s mud.

“Hmm, Classical texts …”

As soon as Bai Huo opened his mouth, he was interrupted by the little dragon cub’s crisp voice: “I can’t!”

“But he can count.” Bai Huo grinned, “Cub, count for the teachers.”

The little dragon cub suspected that Bai Huo had suddenly decided to prank him. When did this guy teach him how to count?

Seeing the little dragon cub remaining silent, Bai Huo kindly reminded him: “Come on, didn’t you count very well at the Mahjong table last time?”

“Huh?” The three interviewers simultaneously looked up.

The little dragon cub met Bai Huo’s expectant eyes, and had no choice but to say: “One …”

The three interviewers unconsciously stretched their necks.

The little dragon cub forced himself to continue: “One Bing, two Tiao, three Tong, four Gang, five …”

Bai Huo beamed with pride, the little dragon cub finished up while the three interviewers looked on in shock, “Five … Hu!”

“He can also do it in the five directions.” Bai Huo said in a timely manner.

“Okay, no one needs to be perfect.” The headmaster sighed and looked at Bai Huo, then she suddenly slapped the table energetically, “But this child …”

The two directors trembled from the impact.

“Is a genius!” The headmaster stepped forward and excitedly shook Bai Huo’s hand. “We’ll gladly take him!”

The two directors wiped their sweat.

“Thank you, headmaster.” Bai Huo also excitedly shook back. “You have a good eye.”

The little dragon cub covered his face with his schoolbag, he couldn’t bear to look anymore. Quickly shut up, Dad!

And so, the matter was settled. After completing the formalities, Li Lin Xi entered the Oak International Kindergarten as a nursery class freshman that same day. It stands to reason that parents weren’t allowed to stay in the school, but Bai Huo didn’t feel assured. After telling the headmaster that he would leave, he snuck back in and squatted by the fence to watch his son inside the classroom. Anyhow, he was a jobless drifter, he didn’t need to be anywhere.

The little dragon cub wasn’t human, after all. Although he couldn’t see Bai Huo, he’d sensed that his father’s breath was nearby, therefore, he didn’t get upset at first. He sat calmly in the classroom, stacking building blocks with the other children.

Many three-year-olds couldn’t speak yet, especially boys, who usually had slower language development. The little dragon cub grew bored playing with them after a while. He looked around; his Dad still hadn’t shown up, so he sneaked out while the teacher wasn’t paying attention.

Bai Huo knew that the child wouldn’t obediently stay in the classroom, he jumped over the fence and grabbed the little dragon cub, tossing him back into the room.

After seeing Bai Huo, the little dragon cub was very happy, so he sat quietly in the classroom for a while, until he started missing his father again. So, he sneaked out again, playing hokey.

These events repeated, and not three days later, an eye-catching banner was hung up by the kindergarten.

“Parents, please behave in a civilized manner! Don’t climb the trees.”

“Parents, please don’t climb onto the roof.”

“Please don’t climb the flagpole!”

“Please don’t break into the kitchen and try to put fish into your child’s meal!!!”

One week later, the headmaster was at the end of her rope, she personally led a team of staff to throw Bai Huo, who was preparing to fish in the school’s lake, out.

“Headmaster, let me explain …”

“Get lost–!”

With this roar, Li Lin Xi’s chaotic kindergarten adaptation period finally came to an end.

The loving father who was kicked out of the school expressed his heartache: Do you think it’s easy to be a first-time Dad?

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T/N:

Sir- handsome guy / lady-killer. According to the internet, it can also be an extra flattering way of saying Sir. So yes, they’re calling him handsome.

The three adults choked a bit-三个大人齐齐哽了一下. That’s what it says, idk why they’re choking though.

Hulu Babies- Wikipedia “Calabash Brothers is a Chinese animation TV series. In China, the series is popularly known as Huluwa (literally: ‘Calabash Babies’)” The character for lake and the first character in Hu(luwa) are homophones.

how can you tell if your father is crazy- The joke of this whole section is that it’s written in a popular way to ask questions on internet forums. I’ve translated it in a way that makes more sense to English speakers. The literal translations were very strange.

five directions- east, south, west, north and middle. BTW LLX was counting in mahjong suits and moves.

no one needs to be perfect- 还差个妖姬就齐活了- Rough translation. I think it uses some slang dialect that I couldn’t quite get the translation for.

playing hokey- It literally translated to ‘climbing a tree to dig bird nests.’ For reasons I’ll get into later, I think its slang for skipping school.

I hate to make this t/n even longer, but if you’re like me, you probably went ‘wtf why can’t 3 year-olds speak?’ Apparently, China has a different aging system. Everyone is born age 1, and age up on the Chinese New Year’s. So +1(sometimes +2!) to the western age. These kids are technically 2, I guess.

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lourdes
lourdes
4 months ago

Haha, this is funny I laugh my ass out

JustBored
JustBored
5 months ago

Why are you so funny?!!!!! The Best Dad Award goes to…..

Platypork
Platypork
5 months ago

Literally laughing like a maniac here. Their interactions are so cute and sweet that it’s making me melt out of cuteness.

noname
noname
6 months ago

I’ve been laughing for the past 3 chapters 😂