FOD Chap 14.8

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Chapter 14.8

On this day, Xue Jing Yi received an invitation from the Chopin International Piano Competition, which was the grandest tournament in the piano world, divided into the children’s group, the youth group and the adult group. If you won the youth group championship, you would be unconditionally admitted to the world’s best music college, Curtis Academy, and awarded a very generous scholarship.

Xue Zi Xuan, who’d won the youth group championship at the age of 12 and became the youngest student at Curtis, had made his mark on the world. He was hailed as the Piano Prince, and he had already succeeded in crowning himself. When it involved playing the piano, no musician dared claim they could play better than him.

He’d conquered the world with his superb skill and vigorous musical expression.

As his sister, Xue Jing Yi’s application received widespread attention from the media and the music world’s insiders. They had high hopes for her and wondered if she would be the Piano Queen. Of course, some worried that Xue Jing Yi’s health might not support the brutal completion, so they’d deliberated for a long time on whether or not to send her a letter.

But Xue Jing Yi had personally called the Organizing Committee, insisting that she could adhere to the game, and in order to support his sister, Xue Zi Xuan had taken the initiative to sign a contract with the Organizing Committee to become one of the adult group’s judges.

He was only 26 years old but he needed to review the qualifications of a group of musicians who might be decades older than him, it seemed ludicrous. However, when the news came out, no one objected to this, and every player who submitted an application to the Organizing Committee thought that having Xue Zi Xuan listen to their performance was a supreme honor.

The Organizing Committee finally agreed, and the invitation letter was issued to Xue Jing Yi. The tournament was held every five years, and every opening was very precious, so they naturally didn’t appreciate absenteeism. It was particularly unfair to those who were unable to get in.

Xue Jing Yi was overjoyed, this was the only good news she’d received since Huang Yi came to the Xue home. That morning, after Xue Yan picked up Huang Yi, she clung to Xue Zi Xuan and begged him to join her piano practice.

She opened the piano cover, smiling as she stroked the black and white keys one by one, as if life was once again full of sunshine and hope.

“Brother, can you help me pick out the songs I’ll play in the game?” She took out a few music sheets.

Xue Zi Xuan stared out the window, silent.

“Brother, what’s wrong?” Xue Jing Yi called out cautiously.

Xue Zi Xuan woke up from his trance, his tone indifferent, “Pick out your favorite songs to practice, I’ll tell you if you should choose it after listening.”

“Okay.” Xue Jing Yi was very pleased, she placed one of the music sheets on the music stand and played a cheerful dance song. She did all she could to impress her brother with the piano, as if getting his praise was the most precious gift in the world. She wanted to participate in the game, not only to get into Curtis Music Academy, but also to attract her brother’s attention, to make him see her efforts and excellence, and maybe even love her a little more.

Brother, are you looking at me? Please look at me! The cheerful dance song turned into absolute frantic sorrow. Xue Jing Yi’s hands harshly pressed on the keys, tears leaking from her eyes. She’d ruined the dance song, and if things were normal, her brother would’ve severely reprimanded her, but now, he clearly hadn’t been listening to a single note, still standing by the window and staring blankly into the distance, his back seemed so lonely.

She knew he was waiting for Huang Yi. Huang Yi usually left for 10 hours, and her brother usually kept this position until sunset. She really wanted to go over and embrace him, tell him how much she loved him, and ask him to give her some attention. But these frenzied and fervent thoughts, when they see his cold, lifeless eyes, vanish into smoke and ashes.

Her hands repeatedly pounded the piano keys to create harsh noises, but the man never looked back. Xue Jing Yi slumped in the bench, finally giving up, and wiped away her tears, then she lightly asked, “Big brother, how was my playing?”

Xue Zi Xuan didn’t turn his head to reply, “Continue.” He hadn’t listened, so he declined to comment.

Xue Jing Yi almost couldn’t help but laugh. Was this still her brother? If it was the past, he would’ve already thrown her out of the room. Now, his eyes only saw Huang Yi, his ears only heard Huang Yi, his heart could only think about Huang Yi.

In his view, except for Huang Yi, everybody else was just empty air.

Xue Jing Yi pressed down her stinging heart, then flipped to the next song and started playing, when she reached the second section, Xue Zi Xuan suddenly opened the door and rushed downstairs. Xue Jing Yi’s eyes darkened, feeling a premonition. She lifted the curtains to look into the garden, and sure enough, Xue Yan’s car was driving down the forest path.

Huang Yi was back.

Xue Jing Yi watched in jealousy as her brother protectively pulled the boy behind him, then watched as Xue Yan stuck his head out of the car window to say something. The two men looked at each other, eyes filled with flames of burning hostility.

However, after hearing Huang Yi’s clear and melodious voice say ‘Bye uncle’, the two’s ugly complexion instantly became pleasant. Obviously, their understanding of this sentence was very different, and their love of Huang Yi was so profound, he didn’t even need to do anything earth-shattering, just give a smile and say a few words, and he could please them.

They were clearly twins, but God’s gift of a healthy body, beautiful smile, and extraordinary talent were all presented to him, and except for a hole riddled heart, she had nothing. This wasn’t fair!

This way of thinking, Xue Jing Yi had obviously forgotten her sixteen years of living a luxurious and comfortable life style, and had also forgotten the hardships that her true relatives have suffered.

When she sat back before the piano, her heart filled to the brim with jealousy, the door opened, and Xue Zi Xuan led the boy in, his originally cold and indifferent face was now enveloped with a layer of warmth.

“You said you wanted me to help you pick the songs right, what are your favorites?”

“All here.” Xue Jing Yi handed over the sheets on the music stand, her heart full of unspeakable bitterness. The same instructions again, he really hadn’t been listening to her performance. Although she already knew it, she still felt miserable at his indifferent attitude.

Zhou Yun Sheng moved closer to glance at them. Xue Zi Xuan sensed his closeness and smiled, he looked back at him and pulled him into his arms, placing the music sheets on his knee to facilitate his reading. Xue Yan’s departure had put him in a good mood, if possible, he hoped the other man would never come back.

“Xiao Yi, why did you come back so early?” Xue Jing Yi did her best to not stare at their embrace.

“Uncle has something to deal with, he might not come back to the golf course for at least a month or two.” Zhou Yun Sheng blinked innocently. In fact, Xue Yan wasn’t busy, but he’d remembered that Xue Jing Yi had received the invitation letter, so he’d deliberately rushed back, signing a lot of unequal treaties to accomplish this.

In the last life, Xue Jing Yi had also received the invitation today, and the system had immediately released the task to have him try to disrupt the competition for Xue Jing Yi. But the daughter of fate was fate’s daughter, no matter how many times he beat Xue Jing Yi down, she would quickly cheer up and bravely return to the battle field. He remembered that for the finals, he’d hurt her fingers, yet she’d completed the difficult piano piece and won the championship through amazing perseverance.

It was also on that day that Xue Zi Xuan really started to see her as a fine woman, instead of a little sister.

In this life, he wouldn’t use the system’s moronic methods to trap Xue Jing Yi, he had a much more fun plan.

“Jing Yi, I heard you received an invitation to the Chopin International Piano Competition? Congratulations.” Zhou Yun Sheng smiled and said.

“Thank you.” Xue Jing Yi nodded politely, her heart hating Xue Yan for not taking him away with him.

“You can spend some of your free time helping Jing Yi with her practice. She still has a lot of shortcomings in her technique, you can point out mistakes for her or demonstrate the correct method.” Xue Zi Xuan combed his fingers through the boy’s soft hair, the joy of recovering a lost treasure hidden in his eyes.

Xue Jing Yi’s expression darkened for a moment. Although the boy had just begun learning the piano, whether it was skill or expressiveness, he was far beyond her heyday, so asking him to demonstrate for her was not absurd. But her self-esteem was still hurt, she smiled and agreed on the surface, but her mind was set on becoming better than him.

She had only neglected practice because of her illness, if she exerted her efforts for a month, she would be able to catch up with the boy, or maybe even surpass him. Thinking like this, she practiced with special effort, and attached great importance to Xue Zi Xuan’s views.

The boy no longer left him, he just quietly sat beside him every day, playing on his laptop, and occasionally using his lap as a pillow when he felt sleepy, which made Xue Zi Xuan unable to suppress a smile. He quickly recovered his state of mind, once again becoming a demanding piano teacher, if Xue Jing Yi played a wrong note, he would sternly order her to start over from the beginning.

Whenever this happened, Zhou Yun Sheng would look up at Xue Jing Yi and smile brightly. He knew that this blackened Xue Jing Yi would view this comforting smile as ridicule and contempt, which would completely disrupt her concentration.

Sure enough, Xue Jing Yi grew tenser by the day, her play more and more disorderly, especially when Xue Zi Xuan, in order to guide her, made Zhou Yun Sheng play the song correctly after she made a mistake.

The boy’s perfect playing was like a difficult to cross the chasm, and it made Xue Jing Yi feel that no matter how hard she tried, she would never catch up to him. She was strong enough to not expose her cowardice in front of her brother, but she knew that she was on the verge of mental collapse, with just a gentle push, her self-confidence would completely break.

Staying in the piano room to practice all day used to be fun for her, but now it was torture.

Seeing her haggard face and dull eyes, Zhou Yun Sheng knew that the tipping point was getting closer. These days, he deliberately crushed her with his talent, just so he could destroy her self-confidence, forcing her farther and farther down the black road and descent into madness. For those who have experienced despair for so long, the line between sanity and insanity was thin.

They walked side by side into the piano room, laughing and chatting cozily on the surface, but in fact, their thoughts were heavy.

Xue Zi Xuan took out sheets of music and handed them over, his tone severe, “If we judge your level by the past few days, you’ll be eliminated in the first round of the preliminaries. These are the songs I selected for you, if you concentrate on practicing them, you might be able to enter the finals.”

Xue Jing Yi took it and hurriedly browsed through it, her face paled. This piano score only included five tracks, but it was recognized as one of the world’s most difficult piano tunes, the alternate name was ‘Transcendental Etudes’. From the words ‘transcendent’, it was clear that the pianist needed superb skills to play it.

The world’s top musicians were afraid to boast that they could play the five tracks completely, in fact, if they could successfully complete two or three, that was enough to make them feel proud.

And Xue Zi Xuan was the only person in the world who could play the five tracks in full. The standard he set for Xue Jing Yi was so high, she felt a heavy pressure.

Xue Jing Yi’s fingertips trembled as she opened the score.

The first song was the least difficult, but after getting a glimpse of its name, Xue Jing Yi’s mind blanked. ‘Hellfire’, the song used the most double notes, one bar contained up to 120 double notes, of which there were about 70 double trills. When playing, if the fingers were too tense, or the two notes were uneven, the song would be destroyed.

Some pianists joked: Those who can play ‘Hellfire’ perfectly must have more accurate control of their hands than a robot.

Xue Jing Yi took a deep breath and forced her fingertips to relax. You can do it, you must! She kept bolstering herself, but made an error on only the second line. A double note was faulty, making the melody suddenly too sharp.

“Stop, again!” Xue Zi Xuan snapped. Seeing the boy suddenly look up from playing with his computer, his eyes wide open, somewhat alarmed, he quickly walked over to gently rub his hair.

The boy smiled shyly and bent back over his computer, then Xue Zi Xuan said in a softer tone, “Start over, don’t just completely relax your fingers, even your wrists need to be relaxed.”

Xue Jing Yi nodded, but her hands were even more rigid. She bit the bullet and continued playing, but at the end of the first bar, more than a dozen consecutive double notes appeared, frightening her. Her fingers fumbled over the keys, and the originally beautiful melody turned into unsightly noise.

“Stop! What is going on with you? I remember your level being higher than this. Step aside, I’ll give you a demonstration again.” Xue Zi Xuan frowned tightly.

Xue Jing Yi hurriedly got out of the way, then looked nervously at him.

Zhou Yun Sheng put away his computer and leaned against the piano to listen along, then he eagerly asked, “Brother, this song sounds very fun, can I play it once?”

Xue Zi Xuan’s cold face instantly melted, he said warmly, “Come try it.”

Zhou Yun Sheng sat in front of the piano and turned the music score over again, once memorized, he put the score away and played freely. This song originated from one of the composer’s nightmares. He dreamt that he had fallen into hell, where he was surrounded by blue flames and dreadful demons. The flames burned him, the demons hunted him, and he fled in fright, then he woke up kicking and screaming, only to find out that everything was a dream.

So he wiped away his cold sweat and laughed, relieved.

As a result of this experience, the first three bars of this song were filled with dazzling double notes and double trills, building up the horrifying, eerie, frantic atmosphere in detail, but the last bar was full of joy and relief, allowing the audience to completely shake off the previous feeling of panic. The huge emotional drop off and switch in style was this song’s most dazzling moment, and the consecutive emergence of double notes made the song ultra-difficult.

Zhou Yun Sheng’s slender fingers slide over the keys, neatly and accurately pressing the notes, when he finished, Xue Jing Yi unconsciously rubbed her arms and found a layer of goose bumps.

He played so perfectly, his superb skill comparable to famous veteran musicians.

Xue Zi Xuan was standing beside the piano, gazing at the teenager with obsessive eyes. When he finished, he pressed down on his frantic heartbeat and hoarsely praised “Perfect, I have nothing more to teach you.”

Zhou Yun Sheng smiled shyly.

Nothing more to teach? If even the Piano King could say such words, the boy’s skills must’ve reached a level others would find difficult to reach. Xue Jing Yi’s heart was riddled with bloody holes from corrosive jealousy. Seeing her brother waving at her to come try again, she reflexively took two steps back.

“Jing Yi, did you watch carefully? Come over and try again, remember to relax.”

“Yes.” Xue Jing Yi looked down at the piano, and a dark blue flame suddenly sprang from the gap between the keys and roared towards her face. She quickly backed up to escape the flames and almost fell down.

Zhou Yun Sheng noticed her tilt and quickly ran over to catch her, he asked in a low voice, “What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing.” Xue Jing Yi stared intently, there was no flame on the keys, her nerves had cause her to hallucinate. She slowly placed her finger on a key, but her fingertip seemed to be dipped in lava, causing unbearable pain. She clearly knew that a wonderful melody could be created with a press, but currently, she didn’t have the strength to move her fingers. The boy had played ‘Hellfire’ perfectly on the first try, and she wanted to climb up to the peak of this unreachable mountain, she even wanted to go beyond it, was that even possible?

Forget about doing it now, when it was her heyday, she also wouldn’t be able to do it. He just needed to press a few lines of notes and she lost- lost her self-confidence and pride, and also lost her brother’s attention.

Only God knew how much she wanted her brother to stare at her with the same obsession, but she knew that she could never surpass the boy.

She suddenly fell onto the piano and cried out painfully, her elbow and chest pressing down the keys, making a shrill noise. Xue Zi Xuan’s complexion immediately changed, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. The steward heard the commotion and called the doctor while preparing medicine and medical equipment.

Whether Xue Jing Yi was really sick or faking, Zhou Yun Sheng was not interested in knowing. He only knew that because her pride and self-confidence had been thoroughly crushed by him, the game could go on.

————————

Xue Jing Yi was pretending, she didn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of her brother and become a foil to highlight Huang Yi’s excellence.

But perhaps because of the rapid psychological attacks, after waking up from the coma that day, she noticed that her psychological endurance had been significantly enhanced. Things that always made her heart ache in the past, like seeing an intimate embrace, she could now pretend to look on indifferently.

Early the next morning, she quietly walked into the piano room and sat in front of the piano in a daze. After more than half an hour, she put her hands on the keys and tried to play the simplest minuet, but the familiar melody didn’t appear, replaced by a bunch of messy, meaningless notes.

The music was clearly engraved in her mind, she could see it with her eyes closed, but in reality, she couldn’t use the keys to express it. She seemed to have lost her ability to play.

Xue Jing Yi panicked, then changed the tune and tried again. But the more anxious she was, the more her fingers didn’t listen to her call, and the small bit of recognizable rhythm later became completely chaotic, creaking like an old staircase about to collapse.

Where was this music, this was clearly the noise of torture, if her brother heard it, he would forcefully slam the piano cover and break her hands. Xue Jing Yi finally stopped, staring at her trembling hands in a daze.

She knew that she had to take a break, she would not be able to touch the piano again for a while. Just by sitting in front of the piano, she felt not anticipation and pleasure, but fear and anxiety. Huang Yi’s perfect performances had induced this mentality, and it grew more serious by the day, cementing after she suffered a crushing blow yesterday.

Xue Jing Yi gently closed the cover and went back to her bedroom. The piano room was insulated, so she hadn’t woken anyone up, and now she had time to think quietly. She turned on her computer and solemnly browsed information relevant to heart surgery, since last month, she’d been relying on this information to motivate her to continue fighting.

A news story suddenly leapt out, and she was unable to blink for a long time. A young man had underwent a heart transplant, and after rehabilitation, he had a lot of inexplicable memories, and also discovered talents he hadn’t previously had. This transformed his life. The experts analyzed: The human heart can also store memories, allowing heart transplant recipients to obtain some of the previous owner’s skills. Some primitive tribes in Africa performed the ritual of devouring the hearts of their enemies to gain strength.

Xue Jing Yi eerily stared at this report, and after a long moment, she smiled. If she received Huang Yi’s heart, would she be able to get his extraordinary musical talent? How would she know if she didn’t try?

What was he, just a container to store her heart, a wretch that lived in her shadow, why should he make her feel fear?

She smiled brighter, more viciously, then made a decision after catching sight of the invitation on the table.

Since she’d momentarily lost the ability to play, she’d make Huang Yi participate in the competition in her stead. She was not interested in the prize money, just the opportunity to enter Curtis Music Academy to learn. With her current ability, she’d need to practice for at least a few years to be admitted, but Huang Yi could easily get in.

He was going to die soon anyway, she might as well thoroughly use him. And when she received his heart and talent, no one would find out that the person who’d participated in the contest wasn’t her.

Thinking of this, she calmly turned off the computer, and pressed the emergency aid button.

————————–

The Xue family surrounded the sick bed with haggard faces, especially Xue Li Dani, her eyes were red from constant weeping. Xue Jing Yi pulled her hand and asked feebly, “Mama, will I die?”

“Nonsense, you’ll definitely get better, we’ve thought of a way. Honey, isn’t it true?”

“Yes, as long as your health improves a bit, we can immediately schedule your surgery.” The implication was that there’s a heart always ready for you.

Xue Jing Yi smiled slightly, then looked to the ashen faced Xue Zi Xuan and probed, “Big brother, do you think I can get better?”

Xue Zi Xuan didn’t answer positively or negatively, he just stood up and walked away, saying without looking back, “Rest carefully.”

He’d finally understood that his sister’s survival was built on the boy’s death, which made him feel suffocated. He was now unable to face Xue Jing Yi’s existence. She was a defective product, to kill a genius to make up for her incompleteness, this was a crime!

————————————–

T/N:

Bye –再見- Zaijian-Means both goodbye and see you again later. So they heard it the way they wanted.

Transcendental Etudes –超技練習曲- Frank Liszt’s Transcendental Etudes, but the songs the author mentions doesn’t exist. I’ll point out any song the author made up.

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masterof
masterof
2 years ago

I’m rereading this for the nth time, but I skipped over to the ZXZ extra and omg, my heart hearts. I can’t continue reading this arc. Knowing how much this hurts ZXZ tears my heart so I’ll have to skip this arc this time. It’s unfortunate because it’s in my top favorite arcs, maybe even my #1. Thank you for the translation!!

Awl
Awl
3 years ago

I’m not knowledgeable about this, but is there any reason they’re delaying the transplant? Why do they have to wait for her condition to worsen? I thought it’d make sense to do it as soon as they got the boy.

Tianshi 天使
Tianshi 天使
3 years ago
Reply to  Awl

The one who will receive the heart needed to be in a good condition first i think

Last edited 3 years ago by Tianshi 天使
Crie
Crie
2 years ago
Reply to  Awl

Because she had recently had an attack and her condition was bad they couldn’t immediately go through with the surgery, if they did, it would have a high chance of failing. So they’re planning to have the surgery as soon as her condition improves

Crie
Crie
2 years ago
Reply to  Awl

You probably already read the next chapter and figured that out though.

lovlis
lovlis
3 years ago

i was at first feeling a little bad for her. I play instruments myself and have really ambitious parents, being compared with better ppl, practicing so hard but not being good enough, eventually practicing more so out of duty than passion or enjoyment, I could relate. It’s not fun.
But damn the next part came and uh. She’s too far out, sadly. As the MC said, she was originally kind and pure.

Last edited 3 years ago by lovlis
Aaaa
Aaaa
2 years ago
Reply to  lovlis

If it’s another person I’d feel bad for her as well

Kawaii Panda
Kawaii Panda
3 years ago

I detest her even more T^T I understand that she want to live but…. *sigh*

KNovel_Otaku
KNovel_Otaku
3 years ago

I’m a 100% sure that the article was put in by ZYS. There is no other way it could be so coincidental lol

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

“For those who have experienced despair for so long, the line between sanity and insanity was thin.”
Warning: Plz dont read if you dont want to be disturbed.

My cat died yesterday. My parents didn’t allow to cremate her because they thought that was stupid and not worth to spend money. I did all i could,spend my own savings for my cat yet she still left me. I’m a college student. And here in my country, living with parents till marriage is cultural and students doing part time jobs are not common.

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

Also bcuz of corona, i dont have income rn. So i had to borrow money from my bf to cremate my cat bcuz i dont want to bury her in a dark cold place away from me.
I made up my mind thinking how i was so powerless without money and today i told them that i was going to apply for an internship program abroad. Guess what they said?

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

They said i wouldn’t able to last one week in abroad bcuz my abilities were so low that i wouldn’t even get a proper husband. It was like that all along, emotionally abused from my birth to today. I remember i was an outing girl when i was in middle school. But i constantly declined social activities bcuz my parents always mock my abilities and my choice in friends.

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

I thought i would become better when i started college, but then i found myself a social outcast that everyone wanted to avoid bcuz my presence was so gloomy. Just one boy reached out to me and now he’s my bf and sometime after, i adopted a cat. Bcuz of them, i was still alive today. But my cat left me and i know my bf started thinking that i’m a psychopath.

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

I mean he’s right in some way bcuz i didnt cry at my cat death, didn’t show my emotions to anyone except when i’m alone. I cried all night but in morning i smiled and laughed like nth happened. I smiled even when my parents mocking at me how stupid i was that i wasted too much money for an animal. They also talked abt how i was emotionless and creepy yet still proceed to choose showy ways like I was rich enough to spend money however i want.

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

I know i’m creepy and not normal. Why else would i be writing my story here which is the place for discussion of novel obviously?
I should be praising the author or translator rn but bcuz of that one sentence in the novel, my emotions exploded. I’m so sorry. I just want to open up about my feelings for once.

Aaaa
Aaaa
2 years ago

No it’s okay, if you have nothing to bent to, you can always do that anonymously, atleast we can read your story

Addison
Addison
1 year ago

It’s been a year I see form the last comment from you. But I hope you are well. It might not be the right place or it might be. Anyway nobody will mind. I learned long ago that everyone is grieving in his/her own way. There is nothing wrong with that and it doesn’t make you weird. It makes you.. human… I will share a story with you. I knew an old lady, a very good and wise person. She loved her husband very much. They have been together for 46 years. I thought she wouldn’t last long without him and she would be devastated. And she was. But her way of grieving was different. I only saw her crying at his funeral. After that she looked ok so to say. But one morning I saw her made coffee, 2 coups. One for her and one for her late husband. She put his coup in the same place were he used to drink his. And she talked with his picture like he was still there. I asked about this and she told me that this was their preferred moment of the day. When they could talk and enjoy themselves. Even if he wasn’t there anymore that will still remain the best part of the day. And she did this till the day she died. It kinda hit me hard at that time. She was always talking about him if you had time to listen, about their life together and so on. She was grieving. But in her own way. I have no doubt how painful that was for her. So no, it’s not weird if you want to do something for someone you loved. Even if it’s a cat. Hope everything is better for you. And if this is the… Read more »

It'sallshittyrn
It'sallshittyrn
3 years ago

I don’t use any social app and dont have any friends. All i have is novels, games and mangas where i could escape reality for a while.
I seriously don’t want to disturb anyone here.
Plz translator-san, go ahead and delete my comments if this is not within community guidelines.

Xiaohai
Xiaohai
3 years ago

Not showing signs of grievingno others is also a way of grieving . Please be confident on your own abilities and personal skills. Having a lover is not in any way related to your abilities, you don’t need a husband so that others approve of your skills. And you were right to spend money for the sake of your cat.

Xiaohai
Xiaohai
3 years ago

There’s nothing wrong with doing your best to help your loved ones , pets included. You’re not weird either , i dont mean to interfere in what isnt my business but seeking comfort from outside proves that your current environment is toxic . I hope that you’ll work towards changing that. Good luck , stay safe!

Aprillen
Aprillen
1 year ago

I know you wrote this a year ago but I really want to reply. I hope things are going better for you now, and that you have stopped thinking of yourself as creepy. You are NOT creepy. But you obviously grew up with a family who don’t understand you or support you the way you need. Sometimes the people who gave us love are also the ones that hurt us most. Love is not always enough.
All human beings are weird, i.e., they are flawed and have their own imperfections and idiosyncrasies. It’s just that one set of weirdnesses are arbitrarily considered to be “normal” and the weirdnesses that don’t fit into this group are considered “abnormal”, even if they are no worse than the ones that do. We can be good people who would never intentionally hurt anyone, who deeply care about others and the state of the world, and some people would still judge us simply because maybe we talk too little (or too much), or maybe don’t care about fashion, or maybe don’t dare show our feelings because whenever we have done so in the past, nobody understood us. But none of those things make us less valid, less valuable, less human. We just have to find our own way, what makes us thrive, what makes us happy, what helps us move forward. Sometimes the things that set us apart can turn out to be our strengths. Hang in there. Like Addison said: it gets better. It really does.

Ahria
Ahria
3 years ago

I wanna call this “Your Lie in Xiao Yi” ?

Xian Yi Xi
Xian Yi Xi
3 years ago

“She was a defective product, to kill a genius to make up for her incompleteness, this was a crime!”
Fucker, now you see this as a crime? Where was your brain before?

Also the word “She was a defective product, to kill a genius to make up for her incompleteness” He freaking don’t see them as human

I knew i would never like this guy. He deserve to suffer too.

Last edited 3 years ago by Xian Yi Xi
Awl
Awl
3 years ago
Reply to  Xian Yi Xi

Yes, Xue Zi Xuan is so fucked up. If she really could get his talent by taking his heart, he would probably be fine with it.

Monay
Monay
2 years ago
Reply to  Xian Yi Xi

Well he has a mental illness, he felt no remorse, he felt no sympathy

jalee
jalee
4 years ago

There have been records of clans drinking the blood of their ennemies and even testicles in ancient times from all over the world. Some people also believe that drinking and bathing in the blood of young virgins was a fountain of youth and can prolongue their life (some argue that it is where the myth of vampirerism took its inspiration). To illistre her point the author just randomly throw that sentence there, constructed like it is happening in our modern time and arbritary solely in Africa. I take exception because it send a dangerous message to the collective’s consciousness that …

jalee
jalee
4 years ago
Reply to  jalee

… it is natural to find this behaviour in Africa; After all isn’t it the continent (although many people treat it as one country?) where half-naked black skin savages living in trees live?

Flamefox
Flamefox
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

Your racism is showing =P i think of the mayens though it might be the aztecs which are central America or is it south. There are many ancient tribes in the past that practiced those type of rituals.

Arya
Arya
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

That’s racist and narrow minded, please read a bit more.

Arya
Arya
3 years ago
Reply to  Arya

Actually sorry jalee I read the second half of your comment and didn’t make the connection to the first, I think many other people did too. It was my mistake I apologize again.

Queen
Queen
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

I am an African and that’s certainly not true please stop seeing Africans like savages

SayNoToDogsWithNoBal
SayNoToDogsWithNoBal
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

Jalee, you should have added this at the end: Sarcasm – an ironic or satirical remark tempered by humor. Mainly, people use it to say the opposite of what’s true.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nads07
Nads07
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

Hope this is sarcasm, seems like it but I can be an optimist sometimes

Nads07
Nads07
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

I noticed that too, but wanted if I was being too sensitive lol… I mean I know that some African tribes have done/do brutal shit but most countries have the same history and still do indescribable evil to today, so I felt it was bad to make it seem like an “African” thing…

Nads07
Nads07
3 years ago
Reply to  Nads07

Wondered*

Meep
Meep
3 years ago
Reply to  jalee

Ah, this I read as two separate ppls points of view and was slightly shocked, then I saw that it was a continuation, 2 part message

Fimin
Fimin
4 years ago

I don’t like to get obsessed to someone like that. What’s the point? If both of us obsess to each other, then fine. But one-sided obsession?? Big no! The brother is annoying, the sister is more annoying ?

Lin
Lin
4 years ago

This chapter just screams “Your Lie In April” vibes.

Why do we have to read about a person falling from grace and getting trauma?? I feel bad for Xue Jing Yi, not because she has to “suffer” but because she was born in a family which spoiled her thus has weak mentality and raised her to incline toward the path of “selfish-ness”. Sigh, dog-blood drama.

Lin
Lin
4 years ago
Reply to  Lin

“Xue Jing Yi’s heart was riddled with bloody holes from corrosive jealousy.”

Why is she so obsessed with her brother in the first place? Plot hole, hello? I don’t find anything noteworthy with her brother except for his obsession in music, since he was so cold to her, what made her fall for him? Because she wanted him to like her, because he’s dashing, because what?

Lin
Lin
4 years ago
Reply to  Lin

“Report on heart transplant which new abilities are gained”

Ugh. Seriously? Anyone who believes this is a flat-earther. Feel free to prove me wrong, it’s not entirely impossible, there may be hormonal changes. But increase artistic ability? Lolololol.

Art does not mostly relies on talent/luck, though they’re important factors, **practice** is what is **changeable** and important to focus on. You don’t wake up being automatically better, your hands, eye and brain have to develop coordination and muscle habit.

Lin
Lin
4 years ago
Reply to  Lin

If it was a brain transplant, I’d have a better time believing. Even so, your hands would have to train so they don’t wobble and precisely perform what the brain tells them to. Vice versa, the brain would need imagination and know what to play.

I guess she’s too overwhelmed with emotions to rationally think at this point, and the author knows all this. It’s unfortunate as she originally won the championship and was excellent. Now ZYS destroyed her. Idk, what’s right, what’s wrong, I’m just not enjoying this.

Thank you for the chapter, kez.

gusulandisciple
gusulandisciple
4 years ago
Reply to  Lin

I don’t really feel much pity or sympathy ’cause the reality is, these characters are all just strings of data. No matter how realistic, it is just a world created by the Queen. Also, remember how ZYS suffered in this world in his previous life? He suffocated to death. Imagine. Just imagine the pain. He knew it was his end, but he had no choice and had to walk straight into the trap. That was reeeaaaally tragic. And honestly? If I were XJY, and I saw the records, I’ll just let myself die from a heart attack than take someone’s innocent life.

Navleu
Navleu
5 years ago

Ohh, the girl is finally scheming. How ruthless!

Thanks for the chapter!

Nadywing
Nadywing
5 years ago

Actually that piece really is like Hellfire…and I can perfectly listen to it as I should depicted by the author…mmm I was kind of pitying Zi Xuan because he has all these ML’s traces…but I know that if Sheng has any accident with his hands he will just abandon him to wind searching for a new soulmate…this is clear…so just lete rejoice in him not being ML

Misstee
Misstee
5 years ago

I wonder if Xue Zi Xuan is Queen?. He is robotic and only responds to music aka math/programming…

Nata
Nata
6 years ago

Honestly, the reason ZYS was able to ‘blacken’ her is because she was spoiled and selfish from the start. Subconsciously she actually thinks it’s okay if someone die for her.

Cheerydandan
Cheerydandan
6 years ago

Apparently, listz also has Dante’s symphony which could be similar to hellfire because it depicts Dante’s descent into hell

Kailyria20
Kailyria20
6 years ago

She finally went mad, brother finally woke up to notice that ZYS was there to die for her and I’m still wondering if its love or just an extreme admirer who doesn’t want his object of worship to be destroyed… does he see ZYS as a person or just simply a genius to share his love for music?

Pouchki
Pouchki
6 years ago

…to kill a genius to make up for her incompleteness…whouaaahh!

Saphieer
Saphieer
6 years ago

Proyagonist’s blackening has reached 70%!

Just how gullible is this girl?!

I say 7/10, Yun Sheng was the one who sent that article to her. He’s so bad.

Saphieer
Saphieer
6 years ago
Reply to  Saphieer

Aye! I meant ‘protagonist’. XD
What the heck is a ‘proyagonist’?

Silverlotus
Silverlotus
6 years ago

“Xue Jing Yi smiled slightly, then looked to the ashen faced Xue Xi Xuan and probed, “Big brother, do you think I can get better?”

Xue Xi Xuan➡️Xue Zi Xuan