FOD Chap 14 Extra: Xue Zi Xuan

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Xue Zi Xuan Extra:

After his sister’s death, Xue Zi Xuan realized that he was a monster. That year, he was only eleven years old, and he practiced in the piano room every day in order to participate in the Chopin International Piano Competition. He remembered, one day, his mother suddenly rushed in and choked, “Zi Xuan, your sister passed away, go see her.”

He walked out of the piano room to find that his home had already been arranged into a funeral hall, his less than a year old sister lying in a small coffin, wrapped in new swaddling. She was born with erythroblastosis, and still passed away after several months of treatment. His mother was lying on the table, crying bitterly, yelling out his sister’s name with heart wrenching wails. His father was silently crying, his eyes red, his expression similarly grief-stricken. Xue Zi Xuan touched his heart, but it truly was awfully tranquil. He couldn’t feel their grief, he couldn’t blend in with this family. When they were busy rushing back and forth to treat his sister’s illness, he never even asked about her well-being.

“Take a good look at her! What’s that look on your face? Don’t you feel sad?” His mother had apparently noticed his abnormality, she pressed his indifferent face to the small coffin, so he could look at his dead sister’s face. He stared at her indifferently, his eyes dry, after a long time, his mother let him go and regarded him with new, doubtful eyes.

After his sister’s burial, his mother took him to visit a psychiatrist, from then on, he started a five-year treatment. He slowly accepted the fact that he was a monster who couldn’t feel empathy, such people couldn’t understand the feelings of others, didn’t understand what it was to feel their sadness or joy. He had scoffed at this, because he knew that music could make him feel sad, and even make him feel happy. In the world of music, he was complete.

But many years later, when that fated boy appeared, he understood what it was to feel truly complete. Prior to this, his world was black and white, like the jumping piano keys, but after his arrival, the world’s most beautiful colors were brought into his monochrome world, loveliness and beauty that he had never appreciated before.

His mother was suffering from depression, and even had suicidal tendencies, in order to help alleviate her condition, his father adopted a baby girl. But unfortunately, when the girl was three-years-old, she was diagnosed with congenital heart disease. Because the Xue family already had one dead daughter, they refused to give up on another, so his parents spared no effort for her treatment. Xue Zi Xuan already understood that he was different from ordinary people, and had learned to cover it up. Even though he felt nothing for this sister, he reluctantly accepted her intimacy, but this eventually led to a habit of wearing gloves, which was his last layer of defense.

When she was six years old, her piano talent started showing, and he saw her for the first time, he even thought that she’d appeared in the Xue family by the will of heaven. He was willing to teach every talented child, and he looked forward to their growth. The country needed more people to uphold music, because it was the only place that could make him feel emotions, it was his bridge to the real world. If there was no music, it felt like he was living in a vacuum, and would eventually suffocate.

As his sister grew to sixteen years old, her heart gradually became unable to support her increasingly maturing body. When his father asked him to secretly bring her twin brother back to the Xue house, he knew what they were going to do, but he didn’t feel anything. His sister needed a healthy heart, and someone could provide such a heart, that was all.

The first time he met the boy was in a rundown loess cave, to tell the truth, the first impression was not good. He never imagined that the waxy skinned, yellow dirt stained boy standing in front of him would became his most beautiful dream, and his most regretful predestined fate. On the way back to the capital, he didn’t say a word to him, and after he took him back to the Xue house, he treated him with extreme apathy and warned him, one, don’t touch me; two, don’t call me brother. After all the dust settled, he often recalled this sentence, and felt like his bones were being crushed and his heart was being clawed out.

The boy looked up at him, his black eyes full of fear and confusion, faint tears glittering in his eyes, as if he would cry at any moment. Every night, every night for the rest of his life he dreamed of being able to travel back to that point in time, to hold the boy tightly in his arms and tell him in the gentlest tone. “You can, you can do anything to me. Don’t be scared, I’ll protect you.”

But in reality, he’d done nothing for him. He threw him to his scheming family and left, until he came back home after his tour and found him sitting before the piano. He couldn’t believe that it was the first time the boy had touched a piano, his ‘Good Morning’ made him feel as if he was smelling the fresh morning dew and the dawn, the exhaustion from the long journey immediately dispersing. That was the first time he’d truly looked into the boy’s eyes, suddenly realizing that they were extremely beautiful eyes, and as he stared deeper into those eyes, it felt as if he could glimpse another gorgeous world in his bottomless pupils.

That world was so mysterious that it fascinated him. He began teaching the boy to play piano, and was forever captured. The boy was even more outstanding than he’d imagined, and when he sat in front of the piano, cheerfully dancing with his fingers, he simply couldn’t look away from him. He was like a magnificent bridge, like a surging tide, charging into his heart with irresistible force.

When he saw the boy fondly lying on Xue Yan’s knees and chatting happily with him, he felt jealousy. He hated his original self for being so indifferent to him, turning his heart away from him and letting him give it to another. If he’d taken care of him after bringing him back to the Xue house, and listened to his anxiousness and confusion, maybe he would’ve become the most important person in his life.

But this ‘maybe’ had never existed from the start. When his sister and parents squeezed and exploited the boy, he gradually became conscious of why he’d originally brought him back. The boy stood on the Vienna Golden Hall’s stage, shocking the world with his superb skills, but also shattering his heart. The boy’s tears and sweat that had sprinkled onto the keys had also fallen onto his heart, watering a seed called love, letting it quickly take root and sprout. His barren, desert-like heart was gradually covered in green vines and beautiful flowers, and each flower was condensed from his love for the boy and his music.

He was a lovely high note, he was the most beautiful melody, and also the most touching love song. Through him, he realized the beauty and warmth of the real world. He ran onto the stage and firmly embraced him, announcing to the world that he was his pride. If he could, he wanted to freeze time at the moment of their embrace.

The boy made his hollow chest grow a heart, gushing out blood, becoming a flesh and blood man capable of feeling. However, wherever life had a beautiful side, there was naturally an ugly side. When he brought the boy back to the Xue house, he was once again suddenly conscious of his original purpose for bringing him there.

His sister asked him if he wanted her to live, this sentence made his blood condense into ice. He naturally wanted her to live, but if he could only choose one, he knew which one he would choose. He tried to protect him, but it was all too late.

The boy seemed to notice something off about the family, escaping the Xue house that night. He both wanted to bring him back, and hoped he would never come back. But as long as he recalled him lying on Xue Yan’s knees and smiling brightly, he couldn’t restrain his jealousy. At that time, the boy’s eyes were full of countless stars, floating across one by one, forming a bright light stream. His greatest wish was for that stream to envelop him too one day.

He endured it for three days, almost going mad from desperately missing him. When his father decided to bring the boy back, he was ecstatic, and anxiously impatient.

But then reality gave him the hardest blow. The boy had unexpectedly joined with Xue Yan, and while he was still fretting and hesitant, they had made a commitment for a happy future. He didn’t know how to get away from the Xue family, he woke up from nightmares every day. Xue Yan had found out about their plot, his father was extremely panicked, but he was only concerned about whether the boy had also found out the truth. What he craved most was the boy’s love and attention, and what he feared most was the boy’s hatred. However, he not only didn’t get his love, he could possibly be confronted with his hatred.

Who would fall in love with someone trying to kill them? This was his original sin that he would never be able to wash away. He hid in his room, clutching his throbbing heart, he clearly had a healthy body, but he was experiencing the gut wrenching pain of his sister’s heart attacks, wishing for death. When the boy returned to the Xue house, every cell in his body was clamoring in longing, but he didn’t even have the courage to look him in the face.

He was afraid to see hate and resistance in his pure, watery eyes. Hate was a knife, it would cut his mind and soul into pieces. However, beneath the pain and suffering he felt a trace of relief: It’s good the boy got away, now he can’t be hurt. But in the end, he’d underestimated his sister’s determination, when he received the butler’s warning message, he almost dropped the phone.

He rushed home as fast as he could, but it was still too late. Seeing the boy’s bloody chest wound, he felt like his own body was cut. When the police brought him out, his reoccurring nightmare had already become reality. The boy was hiding behind Xue Yan, and looking at him with fear and hate.

At that moment, the green vines and beautiful flowers in his heart all withered, once again barren. The bloody wind assaulted his face, almost choking him. In that moment, the gorgeous and magnificent world he was able to peep into had completely closed. The blissful future he’d imagined countless times had become unending hopelessness. It was at this moment that he realized what it truly meant to lose the boy’s trust.

It was a dead silence more terrible than death.

The doctor told him that his hands couldn’t be healed to their previous condition, but he didn’t feel anything. These hands were destroyed to save the boy, this thought brought him unprecedented satisfaction, he even looked at the bloody bandages with gratefulness. Before that, he’d never done anything for him, now, he was willing to pay everything for him. He tried his best to cooperate with the police investigation, and confessed in court. He’d stared at the plaintiff seat, hoping the boy would look at him, even if it was with hate.

But he was still disappointed, the boy’s hatred had reached a point where even looking at him was nauseating.

He lowered his head and told himself that this was the retribution he deserved. The Xue family collapsed, and Xue Rui’s company was annexed by Xue Yan. Part of its assets was used to cover debts, part was used to compensate for the boy’s mental trauma. Xue Zi Xuan was the world’s former top pianist, he had quite a lot of savings. He refused the agent’s proposal to sell the mansion, the boy had lived here for at least a year, if he moved, he would lose his last connection to him.

Now, his outcome could be considered as ‘a complete defeat and fall from grace’ and ‘ruined and orphaned’. Because of ligament rupture, even holding a pen was difficult, not to mention playing the piano. If it was the past, he would certainly be unable to face such despair, but now, he was quite peaceful, because he was paying for his crimes. He seemed to have lost everything, but only he knew, the burning love that filled his heart had not even been slightly reduced, instead, with the passage of time, it grew more and more intense, and it was enough to keep him living. He sat in front of the TV and unblinkingly stared at the boy’s performance with Ivanov.

After the attempted murder, the boy was known as the tragic genius, his amazing talent and rough life made everyone fanatically love him. In fact, he was worthy of this love. He performed so well, the audience stood up and applauded, and many of the invited war veterans even burst into tears. A long time later, after the boy’s figure had long disappeared from the screen, Xue Zi Xuan wiped away his cold tears, and walked to his desk. Then he drew music notes using the burning love that overflowed from his heart.

He edited it over and over again, spending a full five years to compose the song ‘Forever’. Then, with apprehension and excitement, he mailed it to the boy who had already grown into a piano master, no, he should be called a young man. He was still so handsome, his clear and bright eyes also hadn’t change. He behaved more and more low-key, often not appearing in public for a year or two, unless there was a major performance. Xue Yan had treated his legs, and every time they bustled through a crowd, he would embrace his shoulder protectively, and even reach out to hold his waist, his smile especially contented. There was a lot of speculation about their relationship, but no one dared to be too excessive.

Xue Zi Xuan collected all the media photos of the two, cutting out Xue Yan’s face, and made an album. The belief that kept him alive was – Perhaps one day, that boy will personally play ‘Forever’ as a memorial to his love. However, Xue Zi Xuan waited for a lifetime, in the end, he couldn’t wait any longer. He laid on a hospital bed, a needle piercing the back of his wrinkled hand, hooked up to a ventilator.

He pulled off the ventilator and took a difficult breath. His vision started to blur, and he seemed to return to the beginning, when he was a young man, walking down the muddy path and into the boy’s dilapidated cave. Seeing the boy’s dirty face, his bright, star-filled eyes widening in wonder as he looked at him, he couldn’t help but smile. He walked over, unhesitantly pulled the dirt stained boy into his arms, and piously kissed his forehead, sighing, “I’m here. This time, I’ll protect you. Can we start again?”

The boy nodded ignorantly, his dark pupils vividly reflecting his figure.

In a longed for, magnificent fantasy, Xue Zi Xuan contentedly left the world.
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T/N:

Predestined fate- 劫數 –Kalpa, Wikipedia “a Sanskrit word meaning an aeon, or a relatively long period of time (by human calculation) in Hindu and Buddhist cosmology.”

This is the longest chapter of the novel btw

This extra is part of Chap 15.1 in the raws.

Next Chapter: Hilarity ensues

EDIT:

At this point you can read Extra 1 , an AU story with Xue Zi Xuan as the ML. Translated by Moonlightfrost10 and Vanilla Muse. Enjoy!

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Mélissa
Mélissa
4 years ago

Sucks his life had to end that way. At least he tried to change. If only he wasn’t so indifferent to the fate of others. He was very detached emotionally all his life so he couldn’t help being indifferent and cold. Oh well…. I think he deserved a second chance, but ZYS is too ruthless to give him this second chance lmaooo

Navleu
Navleu
5 years ago

Soo SAAAAD!

I’m aware Zi Xuan was a Bad person in the original story, but this time he was passionate and able to love someone else. This miraculous boy opened his world, why should he suffer Just for being part of that family. He helped him at the end, that should count, right? Maybe not to gain ZYS’s favor, but at least to play his ‘Forever’.

Ah, depression.

Now I understand why the author wrote a sidestory with ZiXuan as the Main character. He deserved better. That last dream was too painful.

Thanks for the chapter!

ecle chan
ecle chan
5 years ago

Este amor no es coincidencia, que el protagonista masculino lo adorará tanto no es coincidencia… la reina ha caído por nuestro MC (?), siento la pena del “Always” de Snape con Lily Potter

Red Like Roses
Red Like Roses
5 years ago

Is it wrong that I don’t actually feel that bad about XZX? I’m not trying to be harsh but there’s a difference between empathy and sympathy. Not everyone can feel empathy, it requires you to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, but sympathy is a choice. I don’t have to understand the deep intricacies of sadness to know that I should say something kind to them.

XZX his true sin was his indifference. He didn’t want to care about other people and didn’t try to. You don’t have to force yourself to cry at a funeral if you don’t feel sad but deliberately thinking that the emotions of others don’t matter as long as they don’t get in your way is pure arrogance and he deserved what happened to him. Doing one (1) good thing which was the result of your own actions (and tbh deciding “hey I don’t want this innocent kid to be murdered in cold blood” is literally baseline human decency) doesn’t automatically absolve you of your actions.

Bluboy
Bluboy
5 years ago

Well that chapter mad me really uncomfortzble. Legaly there ae no resposabilies for mentaly disables person. That musician was pretty harmeless, he is boderline autistic, you can’t exoect him to actually have moral value that don’t make sense for him : he did not even share the intention, he just had « no opinion, just like he had not feelings. He only had feelings toward music, and his sense of right or srong, is limited to music. Basically he’s a very fine person for a psycotic case. Also basicaly the intention does not make the crime. If not, a lot of us would be seriouly criminal. Things can change, intentions can change I also get a mum that lost a first kid can have wierd idea to preserve the second one. That does not make her right, but the MC could also use his energy at making her become decent, like it actualy happened with the big bro, and seem to happen with her when she realise it’s monstrous in her daughter thoughts. (Ok she’s not a good person, but she’s an ok mum(?). It maybe the first time i found his doing borderline perverse. This situation is immensely dramatic and he manipulated it to worse, in order to get revenge for a potential future or a narated past, it’s kind of strange, and it does not feel great. The basis is mentionned in the idea « pure heart don’t exist » and « desires make people do ugly things »; it is a strong bias. Provided the right circumstances we all have a moral compass. but we need food for the heart and soul to keep the direction. This bias allow the MC to act in evil manipulative way, in the name of a greater justice. It often works, yet here, i seriously found… Read more »

My Lady Has Spoken
My Lady Has Spoken
5 years ago
Reply to  Bluboy

First off, they were willing to murder an innocent kid in cold blood in the first place. Yun Sheng just made it so that the girl couldn’t deceive herself into believing that she wasn’t a willing participant. Secondly, the musicians “disability” was a total lack of empathy, which is the defining trait of a sociopath (called psychopathy when it leads to illegal behavior such as murder)​—psychopathy is explicitly not a valid insanity plea; there are special clauses to exempt people with such conditions, and for good reason.

Attempted murder is a crime. They didn’t merely have the “intention” to murder, they went ahead and essentially kidnapped the child and prepared the surgery room. Sure, he could probably have manipulated them into changing their original plans, but why would he? If he just acted like a decent human, they’d still have tried to kill him (and succeeded)—they were clearly in the wrong. Yun Sheng is no saint; he doesn’t give a f*ck about saving the souls of people who want to do awful things to him. While the family’s reason was more understandable than in other situations, what he did still wasn’t out of line.

Cara
Cara
5 years ago

Justice for Zi Xuan??? I’ve always rooted for the protagonists and shared their sentiments throughout this whole novel… up until this chapter. XZX was too tragic!! He deserved to hear Forever, although I guess I should be grateful ZYS wasn’t shown playing Forever for XY. That seems like the kind of fuck you he’d do.

I think this might be the one complaint I have for this novel. XZX tugs on my heartstrings like there’s no tomorrow. With the author’s theme, I never expected him to survive unscathed, but this seemed excessively painful.

And I thought the world where ZYS was a sugar baby with the theme revolving around regret for true love lost was painful! This story gives that one a run for its money. Should I count it as a win that XZX got to die with a happy delusion???

My heart’s in shambles right now.

?✨ L G ??
?✨ L G ??
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Same ;-;

Blaze
Blaze
5 years ago

Oh Sh!t !!! I’m not crying !! I’m not !! (wipes water on the face) sniff* ………….that was such an undying eternal love…….composing a song for someone for 5 years…………that was such a strong dedication… this arc really…..makes me so sad..

Yalimar
Yalimar
5 years ago

I thought that ZYS would at least play the song he wrote for him as a thank you for destroying his hands defending him, after all he has always treated everyone well who was good to him but it seems that the pain they made him feel in his last life was too great, he couldn’t forgive him ?

truly his sin was too serious, ZYS just couldn’t let it go ?

Anonymous
Anonymous
5 years ago

I… didn’t really feel sorry for him? It’s not like he’s a good person – he calmly let the twin be murdered in the original storyline, while also treating him like disposable trash while he was alive and hurting him. Furthermore, the only reason he changed was because he acknowledged ZYS’s talent. So, if our MC hadn’t honed his music skills through millions of reincarnations, he’d still happily mistreat and allow an innocent boy to get murdered? Someone he had no grudges with? That’s messed up. While I don’t care for him, I get that he could’ve possibly had psychological issues, so I appreciate the author giving us a look into his thoughts. Since he realised he’d been a monster and tried to rectify his errors, I respect him, but that doesn’t erase his past misdeeds and redeem him. Not for me.
Gosh, I love this story. Thank you! ><

⊙_⊙
⊙_⊙
5 years ago

friggin onion ninjas, COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN YOU COWARDS *continues to gush out tears* damn ughhhh whyyyyyy author can you please give this poor guy a third chance with another person and a new life? It just feels so painful. God this now reminds me of all the characters in this novel that I will miss, there’s Ivana, there’s Darren and now him……..

⊙_⊙
⊙_⊙
5 years ago
Reply to  ⊙_⊙

and of course, our beloved loyal Guard from the apocalypse and all the other adorable characters like him
Damn I missed that guy

Re:start
Re:start
5 years ago
Reply to  ⊙_⊙

Don’t forget John the cameramen ??

Re:start
Re:start
5 years ago
Reply to  ⊙_⊙

Don’t forget John the cameramen ??

Maharani
Maharani
5 years ago

Im crying….

Maharani
Maharani
5 years ago
Reply to  Maharani

Please Author, make another extra for him (XZX) to be happy. My tear still flowing.

Jialinz99
Jialinz99
5 years ago

Uh, a Pov. Similar to that Rich guy who fell in love with the Sheng’s Friend.

Crystella
Crystella
5 years ago
Reply to  Jialinz99

Yeah, but you have to admit: you do pity Zi Xuan a bit more. His is a psychological inability, whereas the other, that’s just ego. Reason why this Zi Xuan’s ending is bittersweet compared to the other.

Blaze
Blaze
5 years ago
Reply to  Crystella

yeah.. you’re right, that’s why tears gush out on my eyes on this arc than that arc.

HM
HM
5 years ago

Author, why do you do this to me? ╥﹏╥

Moniq
Moniq
5 years ago

Omg…this is soo sad! He is the first one target I feel a bit sad for. I don’t ship him and ZYS at all, I am 100% ML alk the way. I just feel sad he lost his music hands and the MC didn’t play Forever once for him. (That’s the real sad part)

But when you think about it, the MC is a black bellied guy, who only loves the ML and still have a bit residual hate for the target. He made him fell more deep in love than the Cao Mo Kun nephew lol.

Anyways, this target is soo pitiful, my heart breaks that he couldn’t hear Forever at least once in his life. At least he died happy.

Vanilla Muse
Vanilla Muse
5 years ago
Reply to  Moniq

I agree, I think letting him hear “Forever” once would be enough closure for both the character and the readers. I’m not even asking for him to find another person to love, I think that would be too tall an order considering the premise of the story, and no one can replace Huang Yi in his heart anyways. Damn, why did this chapter have to exist and make me feel bad for him? But at least now I know he found peace in his ruined hands. I thought that bit was tragic for a musician.

KiriaT
KiriaT
5 years ago

XZX is a bad guy, I know it. In the original plotline he helped his family to commit murder. But I can’t help myself feeling heartache for him…. he was born as an autistic child, not understanding the feelings of the world. And once he opened himself to them, retribution arrived, forever destroying his hope to live like a normal person. Was it XZX’s fault if he turned ‘bad’ ? Can we really call him like that ? Because he was born in Xue family, he received a flawed education. Instead of teaching what is good or bad, instead of trying to understand their clumsy and strange child, his parents abandoned him to learn these things by himself, with his scheming family full of poisonous snakes as the only model. Of course XZX turned bad ! If you teach a robot without emotions that murder is normal, he will kill without second thoughts. But if the same robot awakens a soul, and become human with feelings, can you reproach his past behaviour ? Especially when he blame himself and try to atone to his crimes for the rest of his live ?
Well, I don’t want him to become the ML, but I kind of don’t want him to suffer either. Truthfully I would have loved to see him fall in love a second time, and be happy with this person as husband and husband/wife. He deserves it…

ThisHappyFujoshi
ThisHappyFujoshi
5 years ago
Reply to  KiriaT

I have so much respect for this comment, it mirrored my thoughts. ???

Idle Bones
Idle Bones
5 years ago

After rereading this for so many times.. I cant help but tear up and feel heartache for Xue Zi Xuan. Yes we all dig in to that face slapping and revenge theme with you-all-deserve-it moments..
But this? Srsly, people change. And he did. He sacrificed his hands, which symbolized his love for music, for Yun Sheng, willingly and no hesitation. This just proves how much he loves MC because usually, you’ll only protect yourself from danger. But he didnt. *gosh I’m tearing up again.*
.and MC clearly knew how XZX felt. But it was only a passing thought for him. We never even know if he played the Forever (I guess he didnt because Xue Yan would be jealous).

Wherever he maybe, I dearly wish he finds his happiness.. atleast.. atleast he died contentedly, even if it was make believe.

Ugh gods. It wasnt his fault. He just had psychological problems for not understanding emotions.. T_T

Blue moon lord
Blue moon lord
5 years ago
Reply to  Idle Bones

Well, to be fair, although MC knows XZX’s feelings it can’t be compared to the thousands of years of grudges against those who did him wrong and the lifetimes of joy with ML. And the most important thing I think is that MC regards all of them as lines of codes, if they treat him well like Ivana he’ll be the best friend. If they did something to him, he bears a hella large grudge that won’t change.

But XZX’s last scene was heartbreaking and I hope he found his happiness somewhere

Annabel Viravec
Annabel Viravec
5 years ago
Reply to  Idle Bones

All I can say, is that I completely agree with you….

Just nobody
Just nobody
5 years ago
Reply to  Idle Bones

Agreed…..
I feel bad for XZX….I can’t hold my tears??????…..I really wish XZX finds his happiness…..

Shiro04
Shiro04
5 years ago

ok so uhm this really made me cry… It felt so heartbreaking knowing a cannon fodder’s this type of point of view… Yes he really has his faults on the first version of this story but you know, I can’t really blame him too much, because there wasn’t the right trigger for him to develop humanely feelings.. He is suffering psychologically, and I think since his parents didn’t really much have time for him and.. He really tries but in the end, there wasn’t a right person at the right time… Sometimes we don’t really need meds, we need that someone who can cure our hearts and make us think that it is worth living.

So my point is, I wish I didn’t read this chapter cause it’s just making me miserable????

Idle Bones
Idle Bones
5 years ago
Reply to  Shiro04

I know right? For some instance I could relate in XZX. Wherein he cant understand why he is apathetic. But his passion makes him feel alive. And ZYS made him feel alive too. Much more than what music can do.
I just wish him happiness in an alternate reality. T_T

rainstained
rainstained
5 years ago

…This was far by the hardest arc I had to read for this novel. At first I believed the ML wasn’t the brother, but after a couple chapters that the male lead hadn’t appeared I thought oh maybe the brother is the ML since he was taking too long to appear, and got invested. Only the moment that happened the real ML appeared ? But it was too late for me, I got invested. To be completely honest the ML was completely outshined by this canonfodder lol. All I can think about is him now, and how depressing of an ending he got. Sigh. Unto the next world.

Idle Bones
Idle Bones
5 years ago
Reply to  rainstained

I for once never thought of XZX as the ML. Because ZYS can sense his lover already (refer to previous arc).
But yeah, XZX gave too many feels this time. He sacrificed a lot. And.. seeing how he even felt happy that he got to protect ZYS in exchange for his hands… damn fudge onion ninjas are back again. T_T

He’s precious! He just don’t know it yet!

Nami Heartfilia
Nami Heartfilia
5 years ago

… I won’t lie. I really like guys like Xue Zi Xuan. Aloof temperament like nothing in the world will ever move them but once they found someone or something, they devote themselves undyingly.

Unfortunate for XZX that he had to be a cannon fodder in the story. If it were another story, he could have been a good male lead, I guess.

Anyways, this chapter made me cry a bit.

Kaguya Magami
Kaguya Magami
5 years ago

Agree! I hope if he reincarnate, he will find his happiness and passion. I sincerelly love his character, he is a worthy man and potential great protagonist.. ???

Atat
Atat
5 years ago
Reply to  Kaguya Magami

this could be a good idea for author-san.. Please write him a story, i mean his own story, where he can be the ML, fall in love and have an HE, or at least a side story of him with an alternate ending.. i felt like he deserve it.. He’s too good to treated that way.. TT^TT

Plebian
Plebian
5 years ago
Reply to  Atat

lmao there already is

It’s been there since the beginning tbh but they have just started the translation xd

Whimsy
Whimsy
5 years ago

I feel like… he is actually the Male lead and our Mc fell into a plot of the Queen. She needs to give someone trustworthy source code right? If it’s his “lover’s” code he is of course trustworthy. 😐

There is still a big enemy here.

I can only hope I’m wrong though since it would be quite tragic.

SummerBLOOSE
SummerBLOOSE
5 years ago

This almost made me cry. ??

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